I’ve been out for a little over a month after a breakup. I didn’t realize it would be so hard to stop once I started again, nor did I realize how quickly it would spiral to a dark place. I keep getting a few days and finding myself restless and back in a space where I don’t know what else to do with myself besides have a drink which inevitably leads to too many and blacking out and making poor decisions. I had over two years before this relapse and I had been really depressed and unable to connect or engage with people. It’s one of the reasons my relationship failed. I just don’t feel like I have anything. No friends. No life. No purpose. I don’t see the point in being sober if I’m going to be miserable anyway, but I also don’t want to completely ruin my life. I haven’t brought myself to go back to meetings yet so I figured this was one way to figuratively “get my hand up”. This is Day 1. Again.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this but you are here, we never drink the same again. It may taken a month but you are here. You are not that person anymore. Keep it simple as best you can, you are so loved and deserve to be here. Don't believe the lie in your head 
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Am sorry man am here for you
You got this.
Each day will get better and better.