Constant Struggle

Drowning in the thought to use on on a daily 24/7 basis. Need to put my foot down and kick this deadly disease so I can be free and perhaps make a difference. Right now I just need to get out of self because I'm deadly on my own terms. I'm getting too old for this and eventually it will kill me. Why cant I just accept that so I can be free from this awful disease!?

Man I’d find some healthy things to do instead. Get a gym membership and do yoga every time you think you want to use! It’s gonna suck for a while but just keep making yourself healthy instead. Smoothies help also!

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Find a hobby, that helps occupy your time. I play a lot of Mario Kart. My sister likes to say that Mario is the true hero of my sobriety. Stay strong.

That is the cunning and baffling part of the disease.
It’s killing me, why not just stop?
But we cannot without help.