Couple’s recovery

Recovery
#1

Is it possible to get sober with your significant other?

We have used together almost our whole relationship and now we’ve been working on recovering. It’s been so hard mentally on us both and has caused many fights. The fights aren’t about getting clean but just nitpicking and not working together as a team. It has caused a drift in our relationship but we are actively working on building ourselves up.

I have some people in my life telling me I need to leave him, but I don’t want to. We are best friends and I want to see us both recover and move on with our lives.

I know it’s going to take a lot of work and that we both need to want it. I don’t want to give up on us or him and I want us to power couple our way through this together.

Is that even possible?

#3

You let me know how that goes! Although my marriage is pretty much salt in boiling water, I'm keeping our appointment with a therapist for February. I'd say, if you're both in wanting change and to be together; give it your all. Unfortunately for me, I'm the only one who took my sobriety seriously and waited months for him to join me on my journey. Just be cognizant of the effort you put in and how much he does - don't waste your time otherwise. Nonetheless, I hope things work out! :slightly_smiling_face:

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#4

It’s most definitely possible. It also takes a lot of work. Think of it as three recovery programs. First and foremost is your own individual recoveries (that’s 2 programs) You both need to be sober. As you know, getting and staying sober requires a little bit of selfishness as we concentrate on healing ourselves. Ultimately it’s best if you can make some meetings, and make friends with others in recovery (support group). This all takes time from a relationship that is already fractured. The other person may feel a bit neglected. So, you both have to give each other the space to recover. The 3rd program is your relationship with each other. If you can afford some counseling, I suggest you get into couples therapy. You will want to be able to show you are committed to the relationship by showing up for each other and communicating with a professional who can help guide you threw this. This is how it’s working for me. It’s only a suggestion, but after 18 months, my wife and I are both healing and our relationship is the strongest it’s been in years. She’s not one of us, but she needed to do a lot of work on herself. Without her willingness to change, we wouldn’t have survived as a couple. It took the two of us to get where we are today. Think of it as a second chance or marriage. Learn to listen and support one another. So, yes it is possible. Our requirement was that as long as we were both putting in the effort, we would keep moving forward and walking thru the pain of healing together. It’s a process. Not every day or week is a good one. Be patient with yourself and your partner. All the best…:pray::peace_symbol:❤‍🩹

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#6

So that you can have your own time and share independently find separate meetings.

1 Like
#7

Thank you all :heart: