Really wanted to smoke a blunt today because I was so furious. Which normally isn’t a problem, because I personally have never had an issue with putting down weed. I’ve always been able to stop smoking whether I wanted to or not.
However the issue wasn’t wanting to smoke, it was the crash out mentality behind it. I only wanted to smoke because something had happened that made me justifiably upset.
If I stopped by a friend’s house and smoke, it would only be a matter of time before I was even more upset than I was today.
And the likelihood of me talking myself into having a drink (depending on the situation), would be extremely high. Just because I wanted to crash out.
So I decided to hug the fact that I’m just very upset and it’s not much I could do about it. Could be absolutely worse. I did what I could, which was leave/get away from the situation. I decided not to give in to “crash out/f*** it” mentality. Because I worked too hard to better myself and not to fold under the pressure of just doing things just because something happened.
Moral of the story: Know thyself. There’s certain things and habits we have to avoid/let go of even though we’re sober now.
Next time something happens remember: Don’t crash out. Hold it down. It will pass in due time 