Cried tonight because since the night I got sober 2 weeks ago, I haven’t been invited to 3 get togethers (picnic, dinner, house party) with my girls. It hurts that I’m being excluded. I feel like I deserve it… but that doesn’t make it feel better. Ready to move back to Oregon for school next week.
7 Likes
If you're " friends" don't want to support you in your life journey to get better how can you call them friends. Remain steady, stand strong. You got this
1 Like
When I started my sober life it was very difficult.i was also excluded from things and pushed away by friends and my own family. Over time I learned that my choice to better myself was something they couldn't understand.they were uncomfortable and didn't know how to act around me, and others thought I was judging them for their choice to drink.
Facing those issues requires strength, the willingness to accept our own shortcomings and change.not everyone can do that.in time some will accept the new you and others will avoid their own insecurities by avoiding you.
Either way it's their choice. You have a choice to either allow this situation to break you or make you more committed to your future. It's a difficult place to be in and it does create lots of questions and doubts.just by talking and sharing this topic shows strength and the willingness to create a better future for you.stay strong, hold onto your values and lead by example. not everyone accepts change, but without change nothing changes.
1 Like
I think 2 of them are upset with me because of what I did the night that changed everything and I decided to get sober. I apologized in depth to them and they accepted my apology but I’m hurt that the friend group has excluded me… maybe it’s karma for that night ugh
Thank you for your kind words and heartfelt reply 
I will keep pushing through, I can already tell it’s going to be more lonely than before… ugh. Yes lol I go to school in southern Oregon and it’s definitely dreary and freezing cold for like 5 months!
1 Like
Thank you James for taking the time to write to me in depth. People on here are so nice.
I can tell this sober lifestyle is going to bring out a lot of emotions and make me face the silence of not socially drinking… time to learn some new hobbies and work on myself.
2 Likes
I know exactly how you feel. The start of sobriety can be really lonely. I try to look at the bigger picture. Sobriety is selfish. It’s a time to reflect on who you actually are & who you want to be. Focus on yourself, even though sometimes it can hurt. I’ve had to learn to lean on the the support of the same people who begged me to be sober, who sacrificed a lot of their time to either take care of me, or talk me off of a ledge. People who aren’t sober or sober curious sometimes don’t know how to approach sobriety or how to entertain without using. Be gentle with yourself & push through. I promise the end result will be well worth the fight. 
3 Likes
Do they think they’re protecting you from relapse? Can you go to these activities and not drink? Do they know you can be not drinking and hang with them?
1 Like
I haven’t made a single friend since I quit drinking. What’s worse is not a single “friend” stuck around from before…
1 Like
I think they’re upset with me for what happened the night that made me get sober. I spoke to the 2 I hurt and they forgave me… told one of them I’m not drinking anymore but still am fine to be around it. it just hurts to be excluded when they said they forgave me
I’m sorry Raymond. I know this will be challenging and lonely sometimes… I need to join a sports group or a crafting circle or something productive
Thanks for saying you know how I feel. Kinda makes me feel better
Planted 25 plants in the garden today and I feel better. I hope friendships get better soon
2 Likes
One of the first things I did whenever I started being sober curious, maybe a year ago, was to start planting things. It’s really a sense of accomplishment. Things will get better!
2 Likes
I have developed several great friendships in AA. The fellowship is amazing. I only have a few friends from the drinking days. One of which got sober after I did!
It’s a new wonderful way of life. However, it is not always going to go the way we want. I suggest working the steps with your sponsor. Therein lies the solution.
2 Likes
I am not friends with anyone I knew before getting sober and I love my friends now. We are all on the same wave length!
1 Like