Dancing with the devils- this song is from Demi lovato… honestly I’ve been feeling out of control lately, to the point where I can’t open my AA book or go to meetings…. It all comes down to where I thought I was “in control” I didn’t need this anymore, I thought since I was doing better compared to before meant I was “above” this disease…… but now, I’m here, & realizing I can’t say “one day at a time” anymore… cause no matter the “pattern” I thought was putting me above the disease, the truth is, I will ALWAYS battle this.. I will ALWAYS feel so small and incompetent when it comes to this disease… anyways, I honestly don’t know how to end this …. Allí have to say is, I hope & pray we ALL- AA,NA.. always come together & understand the DEPTHS this JOURNEY Takes.. & first of WERE NEVER ALONE .
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I think I've been under that same impression of myself more than once. And maybe it will happen again, but not today. I have a little over 9 months and it has taken 15 years to get here. The times I thought "ill never let it get like that again" was my disease deceiving me. Eveytime it got worse. I used to be ashamed of admitting "I can never drink again" but now I just don't think about it that way. Tomorrow is way more out of my control than today. Hang it there. You are not alone. I promis that.
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