Well my goal is to be totally comfortable around alcohol. I’m still living with my wife during a divorce and we’re coparenting our 1yr old! I think she’s intentionally bringing alcohol in the house so I can slip up, but it doesn’t bother me bc I’m on a mission. But back to you. You mentioned that you know what you want now. So in your next relationship and in social situations, set and hold your boundaries if you feel it’s necessary. And trust me, there are sober, abusive men out there too! Be picky and chose wisely
I went through the same thing many years ago,although every situation is different any trigger that makes you wanna drink you have cut out of your life and take care of yourself and don't let anyone or anything take your sobriety away cause nobody can make you drink unless you want too but putting yourself in harms ways by dating someone who drinks at all will hurt your progress,just speaking from experience but keep your head up and don't look back,good luck
Thank you everyone for the advice. I will NOT be going on said date. Momentary lapse of weakness of feeling lonely. My goal is sobriety and my ambitions are so much further than casual dating. I am going to continue climbing this mountain by myself!
Way to go Britty! We all have your back!
Non-alcoholics get nervous about dating also. Part of being human, i su
I struggled with the occasional bout of loneliness as well. And early in recovery I thought a companion would make all the difference in the world. But my sponsor insisted that I not even contemplate dating for at least two years. And he was absolutely right!! I needed to focus strictly on me!! After two and a half years he finally gave me his blessing to seek someone on a similar path to my own. But there are very few women in my area that are in recovery. God really does have an ironic sense of humor! Lol! It’s going to take yet another miracle!!
I would say jus b his friend for a while until u feel totoally comfortable with u then start dating it ok to jus have friends
I was married... it's kinda lonely at times, but at the same time, I'm enjoying my peace. Maybe when I find the right women
Focusing on yourself and your happiness is the key. If a relationship may threaten that (for instance I know I tend to be codependent so I’m working on that) then it’s not worth it! Just set yourself up with a few younger fwb so you don’t have to deny yourself alll the things .
You answered your own question.
You said you are enjoying getting to know you again
You are number one right now
Great advice Josh!
If you like him go. The first couple dates I went on after quitting was a bit awkward when we first sat down...but then you start talking and if there is commonality there you will feel more comfortable. If you have nothing in common then you just move on to the next.
Another thing that helped me was being honest in my dating profile that I don't drink. Then I get other non drinkers or rare drinkers ask me out omfor activities that do not include alcohol. I can tell you that sobriety will be much more difficult if your partner drinks, so you're going to want to attract in those non drinkers.
Sober dating is just like drinking dating. Except this time you’ll be sober.
It really is that simple. If you like him, go on a date. Practice the principles of the program and let go of fear.
You’ll be ok.
Good luck!
I’ve been struggling with the sober “dating” issue. I’ve been married twice, and my second husband is what I call a “functioning” alcoholic. I couldn’t stay sober while I was with him and he did not want to stop or modify his drinking habits. So, ultimately I had to leave. I have no interest in being with someone who is a daily drinker. And let’s face it, some people who think they are “social,” drinkers, aren’t. I don’t want to limit myself and possibly screen out compatible individuals, but there is no way I am getting into a relationship with someone who drinks. Too much of a slippery slope for this alcoholic.
Definitely go on the date…. And that’s not anxiety or insecurities that you’re feeling…. It’s life. Alcohol robs you on the human experience. I went on my first alcohol free date in my life last week. I’m 44 and 29 days sober. The date was ok but the experience was amazing. Please don’t rob yourself of everything life has to offer. I hope this helps.
It doesn’t really matter what you decide and either way you can be okay by preparing yourself to give your attention to what you’re not saying while listening to others who are in their heads as you identify your feelings like a dream not real but a mirror in which you see the opposite of what’s in your vision but that works at several different levels if you practice relaxed and relaxing deep breaths. Just ask your date to listen differently because you’re going to have a few questions for them later. They will search for what that means and you will hear more from them as well trying to do two things at once. And who is better suited for that men or women? I think you know one answer already.
All the above I agree with shortly after getting sober I started seeing someone I met in treatment. He had multiple relapses and it got scary and ugly somewhat like you describe your relationship being. I made it through that stronger and sober but it made me realize what others have said, I have to heal from
The trauma of my past and work on me. Before the right person to fit into my life will come along. 
Congrats on getting out of the abusive relationship. I would make sure you have a good amount of sobriety under your belt before making the leap. But, we are social creatures. Good luck on whatever you choose!
My sponsor said that I could date after I was sober for a year. Never ever date anyone who is drinking