Dating in sobriety

I met my gf on hinge. My profile was blunt in regards to drinking and drugs. I had current pics and I changed them up often. I was open about my interests regardless of how they could be perceived. Other than the drinking and a political non-negotiable, I left the parameters of who I wanted to meet wide open.

And then the hard part: I did not “like” anyone. I waited to see who sought me out. And I chatted with everyone who expressed interest. I went out for coffee or ice cream with several people per month. I gave whoever I was talking to my undivided attention. And if it became clear it wasn’t working I was honest about it and we moved along. I enjoyed meeting people.

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I think that after 3yrs of living sober and not dating, it is normal to feel this way. I certainly experienced some of the same feelings and also stayed single for 3 yrs after rehab. I too wonder if I should even be dating at times but realize that even at 44 I have a lot yet to learn especially in regard to sober dating and if I don't date, I don't learn. I wish I had some advice to offer but ai do t aside from take your time, move differently than in the past and if texting seems annoying, perhaps call or don't bother. "Getting to know someone" via text just isn't in my playbook.

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Dating is fun!! You have nothing to loose. I tried again many years ago. Met my beautiful, accepting wife. Happily married for 10 years!!

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I'm still not dating because I want to grow into someone the person I'm looking for is looking for. That being said, I bet we look harder for inner growth because that's how we overcome addictions.

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Great approach. Thanks

That's exactly why I am dating. I finally realized I have something to offer. It took me a while to actually believe someone might be interested in me.

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