How is everyone finding dating in sobriety ? I will have 3 years in march. I’m finding it difficult! All the small talk back and forth texting feels like a special kind of torture lol. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m just not ready! I don’t seem to find people have substance anymore, or values or strive for growth (other than their physical bodies - TONS of that. They seem so superficial and full of ego. Anyone else feel this way?
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Haven't found it 
...
Been staying in my lane but I'm under a year on this last stint. After 3 years , you have the go ahead by most guidelines/advice I've ever seen, but it's certainly a person to person basis for determining if one is ready. And I agree...there's a lot of alterior motives and smoke screens out there in the dating world now and I don't think I'm exceptionally cynical 🤷, so I'm just chalking it up to social media and the times. Although, I was hammered all through my twenties so could just be sobriety . You ain't alone though ...it seems weird out there 
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Yes.
Not a lot of folks looking for growth and serious connections. I’m afraid it just the way it is now. Hang in there and someone will turn up.
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This is probably the best place to meet non judgemental, sober people who actually have been in ur shoes and understand what you've been thru... Best of luck
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Yes! Ulterior movies and smoke screens. It is weird out there, very weird. Thanks for the feedback.
maybe I’ll shift focus and let the universe do its thing .. thanks for the feedback
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Definitely seeing this myself. The apps are a black hole for substance. Oh well at least sobriety has given me more peace of mind.
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Yes dating as a sober person is a hassle at times because they don’t understand how someone can just want to go out on a date but choose not to drink on said date.
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I think that’s the moment they realize oh sh*t she’s not a party girl I’m not going to get laid lol. I mean at least it’s weeding out those guys.
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I think we realize we need healthy sustenance in our lives and dating apps are mostly people who are lost souls trying to heal in the incorrect way! We just are so keen into listening to our souls now they’re just not intriguing!! Best of luck
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It's hard to get through the awkwardness of telling a new person that you're sober. Some worry that you won't continue to be sober, some are proud of you that you are. I haven't found another sober person to date, but I'd like to. I don't mind being around people who are drinking either. I've met some nice people on the other sites and some that I don't want to be near. Mixed bag. I've found the hardest thing to be distance.
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Yes! Dating is hard enough but it’s an extra kind of hard when you’re sober. The most recent dates I have been on have all been great and then I get ghosted, which is the most infuriating practice.
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I hate it, wish I knew how to weed out the nonsense. It usually boils down to he wants s*x right away. Last guy stuck his hand up my crotch to boost me up into his lifted truck and goes Get used to it! .. Where's all the good guys? Its just easier to be single
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There ARE good guys out there as I’m sure the same is true with women. I think dating is just different, at my age anyway.
I thought this site would be good because of a shared understanding of alcoholism/addiction but I have not found any local connections as of yet.
A decade ago I was in the same place in life. When I quit looking, the universe answered
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I'm also around 3-4 years sober. Dating is really difficult as a sober person, most people assume there a big reason why you are sober and hold it against you. Also the games are non sense, I don't know why people play so much now and days.
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Well said
I have enjoyed dating in recovery. I’ve been honest and met some great people.
I think it probably helps that I’m seeking good company and not pressured to find the great love of my life.
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Yes to all of this! I’ve wondered if I’m just not ready as well. The idea of trusting someone and finding a secure relationship is terrifying for me, more since being sober, there’s always a risk…but its what I ultimately want. I’ve made some great friendships, and I’ve been thankful for those connections.
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Oh my! I’m so sorry you went through that experience!
Honestly, having s x after just meeting someone is out of the question. I am one of those nice guys. If I just met a girl and that's what she wanted, she's not for me.
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