I'll get some momentum going, like maybe 4 weeks or something. Then I'll start chatting with someone on a dating app. We eventually decide to meet. Then I get so anxious about the 1st meetup that I drink before and during the date. It usually goes well but I end up feeling like I need to drink to "unwind" and relax and have fun with them. Often times after a few dates I realize that I have no real connection with them, and not really that attracted to them either.
I'm over 50 and I realize that I've been doing this my whole life starting from high school girlfriend through failed marriage.
I'm starting to think that if I want to maintain sobriety I'll have to remain single and celibate. It's worth it to me to be a good father, but is a little depressing.
Can anyone here relate?
Since I've been sober I've been on 14 dates. I was pretty nervous on the first few. I still get somewhat nervous. But I never think about drinking to solve that. I do take kava to ease my nerves before a date and it works pretty well. I've made a few good connections with the people I've dated. But it's taken time. It's a numbers game for sure. When you're sober on a date, they're getting you as you are. And you might not wow them the way they want, but you are being genuine, which in the long matters the most when it comes to finding the right person. But it's tough. Rejection hurts. Just gotta keep at it though. The right person is out there, you just gotta find her. And you have to be yourself, not your drunk self.
Nice advice. Thanks!
Been there for sure. I’ll have 3 months on Saturday and have put dating on the shelf the whole time. It’s difficult. Take out a lot of that frustration at the gym.
I’m right there with you James.
Great advice Eric, thank you for sharing
I understand completely! Good advice! It’s a personal preference, but I find when I get together with someone initially I bring up the fact that I’m in Sobriety just to get that out of the way first off. But that’s me.
This is def 100% the truth. I totally had to just focus on ME for awhile before I could even begin to think about dating or fixing my marriage. I had to fix me before I could pull someone else into my mess. I’d def not drink and I bet things get busy and u even find a true connection!