Has anybody met a significant other through AA meetings? I’m trying to put myself back out there in the dating world but having a tough time finding like minded individuals or people who don’t drink. The dating app on here isn’t the greatest.
5 Likes
You joined 7 months ago, and have only posted twice, both posts about "dating". Maybe join in regular sober/clean chit chat here, and go from there? Might help, ya know?
I know a bunch of couples that met in AA. It’s a great way to meet people, both friends and partners. OTOH, break ups could get difficult if you both attend the same meetings. I’ve witnessed this a few times.
2 Likes
I didn’t know there are rules for how you want to handle your sobriety. If I want to post about dating (because I’m comfortable in my sobriety and ready for the next step) then that’s what I am gonna do. Maybe you shouldn’t tell people how to post in a support group unless it’s something that hurts other people.
2 Likes
Thanks for the response! Yea I could definitely see that getting messy if a break up goes on and still in the same group. Good to know that you have seen people meet through AA though.
1 Like
Well keep doing what you're doing then, since it's working so well.
1 Like
Lol there’s something wrong with you bro. I hope you find the help you need. Hopefully you’ll learn how to behave like a mature adult one day.
2 Likes
K, bro.
Here's a cheat sheet... Ready?
Hang out for a bit, talk to people, respond to topics, let people get to know you, get to know people, show people your level of commitment to being squared away. It's totally organic and works pretty well. Just because it's not the specific "dating" section doesn't mean it can't be a possibility. Alot of people here aren't super secure enough in their struggle to date yet, so getting to know people more slowly by "pre-dating" works better for them. I mean, it's not much different than regular getting to know someone daily life anyway. It's just not the typical "swipe left or right" that people have become used to.
1 Like
Honestly ya already overstepped your boundary by making some pretty unnecessary comments on my post. Your “words of wisdom” are pretty meaningless to me at this point. For the record, I’m not trying to meet someone who lives in Colorado in an open post on this app when I live in New York. So your idea makes little sense to me unless just by chance someone lives near me and I happen to be attracted physically and mentally to them. Hence why I’m asking on how sober people date and meet other sober people. The dating app on here you can at least set how far away they live from you.
1 Like
I didn't overstep any boundaries. It's a public forum that you asked a question on. I have you my opinion based on how I read the question, simple as that. I was being straightforward with my answer, an honest answer.
If my "words of wisdom" (not sure why you framed them as such, I never called anything I have said as "wise") are so "meaningless" to you, why do you continue to retort?
Why limit yourself to your zip code for dating? Are you Amish? You might meet a really awesome human to spend time with, somewhere else, ya know? Maybe go to local meetings?
1 Like
I’d probably put something about only being interested in non-alcoholic people in the comments on a dating site? One would think there are a bunch of people looking for the same thing?
2 Likes
Lol this is a support group. You acted like the Loosid Post Police right out the gate telling me how to post. Maybe you don’t understand what the word support means. Go bring your negativity to facebook. It’s not needed here. And for the record if I want to date only in my zip code that’s my prerogative, not yours. And again with unnecessary comments referring to me as possibly being “Amish”. Again, hope ya get the help you need, you are clearly a very sad and angry individual.
1 Like
Thanks for the feedback TC. I’m sure there are, they are just very difficult to come by on apps. I’d say at least 90% of the women I come by on dating apps put that they drink on their profile. Was hoping to find more in person ideas about meeting sober people, like at AA meetings and such.
I'm an neither sad, not angry. I was literally trying to be helpful. I'm talking to you like I would talk to any level headed guy about stuff. There is literally almost a post a week on this site about dating and almost every time it is by a guy with an empty profile and only posts about dating. Despite being skeptical, I still was honestly only trying to be helpful because you seemed a little less creepy than the usual "where all da women be at" type posts regarding dating.
Sorry I hurt your feelings and made you melt in front of everyone. That was not my intent. I DO understand what the word "support" means. And I am supportive of everyone, including the women here, who are only here to be supported in their sobriety, and I'd be willing to bet at least some of them find it a bit annoying as I do, the usual guys looking for women only posts.
I'm done.
You are clearly delusional. My post was asking for ideas on how to meet and date women who are sober too. It had nothing to do with trying to get women in open posts on this app. I guess reading comprehension is not one of your strong points.
As for “melting” in front of people. I’m just enjoying you making you look foolish in front of everyone so maybe you’ll learn from this and not act this way on other people’s posts in the future, wishful thinking I know. I clearly live in your head rent free as you continue to come back to my post and make comments lol.
1 Like
In my experience, 90% of the guys on dating apps/sites who say they don’t drink, still drink “only on weekends” or “just smoke a little dope now and then” and I get the “what’s the big deal” attitude lol So I know what you mean, it’s incredibly difficult to find suitable sober dating candidates. And I agree that local dating is a must. I’m not trying to spend an hour driving to a date because if my goal is a relationship then it has to be realistically close enough to both of our current lives to logistically make sense.
1 Like
Thank you much for the response! yea that’s what I’m afraid of… the whole “I only drink on weekends” thing. I definitely can’t have a partner who does it at all. I’m just putting myself out there now after being sober 10 months and the struggle is looking real.
1 Like
I haven’t had a date in over ten years, and only one of those years I’ve been sober…. Dating is dead
Sadly the struggle is still very real even after 20 months. I’ve just started thinking about dating the last few months. I can find hardly anyone who gets it. It’s just not something that can ever be a part of life for me again. Drugs or alcohol including weed and that’s narrowing things to like a third of the earth’s population lol only on the weekends isn’t even ok and if they can’t have a “fun weekend” that doesn’t include alcohol that’s a deal breaker. Wish I had better answers but so far I haven’t found any. Paid dating sites are a good place though, I know a lot of single people in their 40’s who’ve found people there. I’m just too cheap to shell out 60 bucks a month on the off chance that there’s people willing to do the same that meet my admittedly picky standards 
1 Like