I'm new to this platform. I thought I'd might as well give it a try since what I've done in the past hasn't worked. I started drinking and using at 9 and at 14 I began using meth, gent and benzos on a regular basis. Finally at age 24 I made some progress and was able to get 1 year completely clean. I relapsed a few weeks after my year mark and for the past couple months I've been actively using while keeping this fake persona up to my wife and loved ones. A couple days ago I was at work and I got a call from my wife, she said “I'm outside parked by your car, come out here now” I knew in that moment I was caught but the addict in me tried to lie my way out of it until she told me she found my search history from a few days prior. I had searched “tips for getting clean from meth” “how to get lasting sobriety” etc etc….. Anyways, everyone is back to usual, looking at me like some disgusting junkie. I feel like I'm never going to get this. Each time I come back from another relapse, I want it with every ounce of my being but somehow I always end up using. I feel hopeless
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Hey, Zach! Thanks so much for sharing this with us. You're not alone in this. We're here for you; and there are many in this app who can relate.
Have you tried inpatient treatment? Do you have a sponsor?
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