I never write or comment so here goes! I’m on day again for the millionth time. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired and I just want to get off this merry go round! I need to hold myself accountable and fight the cravings when they come. My brain pushes me to drink and I lose any defenses I might have. Here’s the kicker, I help people with substance use disorder for a living! I’m really struggling and could use some help.
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I feel you so much. I'm starting day 3. I work in Healthcare and are always seeing people at the end of on the road I'm on. I'm afraid to go inpatient for fear of losing my licence because I'm the breadwinner for my kids. It's atough place but you are most alone.
Anyway you can mix up your routine, to change up the environment?
Hey Lori S I friended u if u wanted to chat
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I have to. I have to change something because what I’m doing isn’t working! I think I need to get back into the rooms, sit down, and listen.
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Hi Lori! It takes courage to admit and share this. I have a question for you…what course of action would you recommend to one of your patients if they were in your shoes?? I think you know what to do, all you need to do is take action.
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I feel you. I work for a health care system and struggling with substance abuse . Having to weigh and make a decision about a recent oppurtunity to go to treatment. I know im tired of it all and want help. Do whatever it takes
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Lee is a 1000% correct and im using his response for my own situation lol 
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You need to work some sort of program in sobriety
Hey Lori, I'm 14 months sober, this time. What helped me is I got educated on alcoholism. You are educated on that. So what I can offer is someone to talk to who cares. I will talk about anything to do about addiction anytime. Reach out anytime
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Thank you very much
You’re talking the talk Lori but you aren’t walking the walk, and you know it! Sounds like you could use a sponsor that doesn’t put up with 
…IMHO! 
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If you're still alive to start over then there's still hope. You're only out of time when there's no more days to retry to get better. Shake up the game plan and find what's not working and insert alternative tactics. Good luck.
WELL first off thanks for being here and being rigorously honest here with us and most importantly with yourself. Now do yourself a huge favor today and until you literally burn it into your head and re-read this comment or post you wrote here and take your own dang advice. I mean I’m not being mean here but let’s get frank here let’s have some brotherly sisterly love here from me to you. You’re the only person who will make that change. No one 
absolutely no one but you will make the change for yourself. If you want sobriety you can and will achieve it and accept the fact you’re not like others who don’t have the disease and that when you drink you’re powerless over it and your life is unmanageable step
One! Like take what I say the way you want but we’ve all been there I was 17 days ago I fell off the bandwagon after 6 years of sobriety thinking my disease was nonsense and a lie I put in my own head. But no that’s just brutal reality that our minds are sick and they will lie to us what ever way they can in order for us to achieve that nasty craving we get from the bottle.
I mean in reality it’s pathetic that a substance that’s not alive or anything but a substance that should not be consumed has total control over how we act and or feel. If we allow it.
I get it you do it so many times that it almost becomes true to your life and you believe the lies you’re telling yourself and you ultimately are admitting utter defeat daily over this non human force. It becomes normal to say the least. You look good on the outside yet feel absolutely horrible and spiritually depleted on the inside. You’re numb inside.
But take your advice I would honestly even step away from your job right now if you help ppl with substance abuse. That’s not fair to the person your helping. That’s totally a lie. You’re lying to to them telling them stuff you think they need to hear to help them yet you’re not doing it yourself? That’s insane like go get a new job for now until you get your act right. And you need to know and hear this from someone who struggles hard like yourself. Don’t take this last part lightly what you’re doing is absolutely insane and wrong. You’re lying to others and most importantly to yourself and you come on here asking for advice? Go to step one. Stop thinking so much about what you have to do like go to a meeting be honest and change? Get a sponsor. Like do the work? Again no one here will do it for you. So grow up and pick up your big girl pants learn from this insanity your living and make the change. It’s like a fat person who talks to everyone about healthy matters and how to stay healthy and they workout but after the workout they go home or to a drive through and buy junk food or eats food that wastes their time and others. Yet everyone you talk to sees right through your craziness and lies and feels bad for you because you can’t see how much you’re lying to yourself and how much you’re hurting yourself. You can’t lose the weight unless you change everything you do and that starts with being rigorously honest with your situation and yourself and most importantly others about what’s going on.
Take this what ever way you want. But lying is straight satan. I lie sometimes but am sober enough to make amends with it and move on and not have self pity over the situation I created for myself. If I were you I’d quit your job, trust me you’ll find another probably even better and higher pay than what you have now being drunk and lying and get a job that’s a nothing job and get some sobriety under your belt and humble yourself to this program and LIFETIME commitment. one day at a time start living it. And start believing in the power of it.
I love you but sometimes you need a kick in the tail like this to just wake the f up.
Time to do the dirty work you keep running away from. Start taking your own dang advice and get going. Life’s not waiting for you to become sober it’s happening right now and will keep happening whether you’re sober or not. Don’t be that person who gets to their death bed wishing they had made the changes they wanted. What a waste of a life. How selfish. Get going, change your life Gods kingdom is here!
You need to find an AA home group, go as often as you can, get a sponsor and work the steps. Trying to do it on your own is not going to work.