Man. I turned 40 this weekend. Flew back to where I use to live. Still acting like I’m in my 20s. SMH. Something has to change. I can’t keep drinking and gambling like this into my 40s.
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I know how you feel! Sorta! Lol...took me forever it seems to realize I'm not 21...my body has been screaming at me (stomach especially) for years...all the other horrible effects of alcohol well it is a poison to our bodies too! I've been learning alot about the physical consequences lately and it does give me some good sobriety fuel...17 days sober here and not getn ne younger darn it...
Find a meeting and a sponsor, or some group for a sober circle and support. and work through the things that cause you to drink or use. When we find the root of the behaviors and thinking patterns that drive our head shaking circles to repeat, we can learn to heal😊 keep coming back!
Sounds like you're pretty close to putting all this behind you 
TRUST THE PROCESS YOU ARE IN. The DREAM. THE STRUGGLE. AND THE PRIZE. You can do all things through CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU