I am 3 weeks sober and I get on here and see ppl with way more time than me and they are still struggling and I am isolating and I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want ppl to hear me have a pity party and I don't want to be a burden...but I am having a hard time
11 Likes
Hey, doesn't matter how long you have. Period. Your hard time is just as important. What's up man?
1 Like
I have quit so many times and I am the boy who cried wolf and I can't talk to anyone I have let everyone down so many times
2 Likes
Not everyone is struggling. It may appear that way. But for some, like myself, I struggle with dealing with life on life’s terms. The way I overcome that is to reach out to others I can relate to. To talk about my daily struggles with people whom have faced the same or similar issues. That’s how my sobriety works. When I was drinking, I drank because life’s terms were not MY terms. Through sobriety I learned a different way of thinking. I have allot of sobriety at this point in my life, but I still have struggles and challenges. I’m going through divorce for the 2nd time. I just accept things and talk about them with people here and in the rooms of AA and use my experience applying this not so new (to me) way of thinking.
To me, that’s the whole point of posting here.
Time in sobriety doesn’t matter to me. When someone struggling is honest and shares their problems it helps me relate and reflect upon my own problems. We share a common problem and we can come to a solution by using that collective experience and knowledge.
2 Likes
You are at 3 weeks. That is amazing. Pat yourself on the back. I'm proud of you. Great beard too. I got a full beard now too.
2 Likes
Don't compare soberity
2 Likes
I was told by a member that “ no matter how many days, weeks, months, years or decades we have, ALL of us are one drink away from relapse.”
I find things to keep me busy. Like make a list of stuff you want to try or learn (I.e . learn a new language, read the Bible or Big book etc). Your doing good keep your head up.
2 Likes
Hey Bradley, I have experienced that when I share my struggles it may seem like I am looking for sympathy to my negative mind. In actuality I am looking for empathy. The people here or in the meeting understand where I am because they were there at one time. I specifically leaned on my support system during my separation, most people in the meetings I go to have been divorced at least once. It was those people that held my hand when I didn’t know what to do and I made it through still sober. Another thing I had to learn is that 5 days, 5 years and 40 years you will still have struggles. The difference is how you handle them. I expect all the old timers to be perfect and never falter. But that is not possible. But staying sober and being a better person is possible one step at a time.
2 Likes
Everyone takes their own time to cook. Also, if you don’t share, you deny folks the opportunity to help you. Try taking a 5 minute cold shower every morning, helps break up the weaker parts of one’s mindset. Some folks struggle for years, and some of us didn’t really struggle at all when we realized the next time we used we’d die. So, be easy on yourself; tons of other people in the world, but you’re the only you going thru what you’re going through for the first time ever, so you won’t be a master at it, is all I’m saying.
Recovery time doesn't always equal serenity. I have 5 and a half years. I went to 4 meetings, since Saturday. I talked to my sponsor tonight. I've read plenty of literature and have prayed and meditated throughout the week. Tomorrow I'm chairing a meeting. Recovery takes work; it's not a passive process.
1 Like
Bradley I was glad you posted something today. I saw your first posts right about the time I joined Loosid and I have thought about you being in a small town with not much to do and feeling lonely. I guess we can be lonely no matter where we are, but want to let you know that I am happy for you and proud of you making 21 days. Please keep going! You are not alone in this.
1 Like
Hey Bradley King!!! I hope all is going well my friend!!! Glad to hear that you’re staying strong 
!! You are doing the best you can and I am proud of you!! Some days are harder than others just like for anyone…and then we have Good days it’s all about balance and this could be difficult and it’s ok I respect your situation and I’m am happy to hear ya today!! Your accomplishments!!!
1 Like
Buddy, you are right where you are supposed to be.
Recovery is where we start feeling our feelings. We coped before not using by using our drug of choice to not feel.
It is ok to fear admitting you are a addict.
My drugs were Alcohol and Pot. But they took over my ability to face life on life's terms.
We go to 12 step meetings because we are among other anonymous people who are trying to survive and recover from using. Please keep going to meetings.
Please take the time to discover and trust people you feel comfortable and safe with.
Your life will get better over time as long as you invest your entire being and all your energy to Sobriety first.
We can have incredible fun and exciting lives without drugs.
We can have deep personal friendships and invest in life.
We learn over time how to feel, to have healthy boundaries, and honest open relationships.
But this happens over time.
Our early recovery can be Thank God I'm not using..to I want it All ( recovery goodies) Right now.
But often times that's leftover drug thinking.
Take your time focus on having your feet firmly grounded in recovery and your meetings for now.
1 Like
It’s all about perspective. Practice gratitude and all the things you have to be grateful for, don’t allow yourself to have that stinking thinking of “I don’t have much to be thankful for” bc you do, we all do, waking up another day sober and healthy is a big one. It’s the simple things in life we take for granted. But when we learn to appreciate them we get a new positive outlook on life and sobriety that only gets better with time! Appreciate those struggles use them as motivation and a driving force
1 Like
You got people to talk to man, that’s why you’re here asking for help. And that’s rad.
It’ll take some time for people to come around. When I visit my folks, and head out to meet my friends it’s inevitable my mother will say something about “take an Uber”, and “yeah right” if I say I’m not partying like I used to. What feels good is I prove her wrong each time. It feels real good honestly. Take pride in proving them wrong, take pride in showing up for yourself how you want to show up. Sobriety is for you, not anyone else. Let the doubters doubt, they will come along eventually.
1 Like
Yeah man, I don’t even count days, it’s been a while is all I care about, doc said stop or die, I stopped and feel great now, join the club
1 Like
The DREAM. The STRUGGLE. And the PRIZE. Learn not to compare yourself to others. Be a LONGTERM THINKER. How soon do you want to get well. . Realize that if you been in ADDICTION for a while. That will be stronger than your RECOVERY. . YOU FEED YOUR RECOVERY. YOUR RECOVERY WILL GROW STRONG. TRUST THE PROCESS AND STAY THE COURSE
1 Like
Bradley, you never have to feel guilty about sharing. Sharing doesn't make us weaker, and it doesn't make us any less of a man. Actually, it takes more of a man to share because that's what it takes for us to be able to make this program work.
That's how it all began. Bill W. needed somebody to share his story with, and so he discovered Dr. Bob, and the rest is history.
And 21 days is really a short time. Things really do get better. I hope you're going to AA meetings at the least. The quicker you get a sponsor and get the steps behind you the faster the promises will start to come true in your life.
1 Like
People in longer-term sobriety are still alcoholics and still know that there is a “coping mechanism” that’s exists when times are hard. The difference is, with more time, that coping mechanism subsides when times are normal. Early sobriety is difficult and those first few weeks/months are a huge achievement that take more effort than someone with 3 years instead of three weeks. Give yourself some grace and don’t pick up.
2 Likes
Man, that is a lot on your shoulders. Let us all help you bear that burden.
1 Like