Sobriety while trying to forgive yourself for all the damage you've caused in your alcoholic binges, trying to rebuild your relationship with God, accept that somethings are not repairable, dealing with heartbreak and trying to start your life over is soo stinkin' hard yet humbling. I'm constantly crying and fighting myself not to isolate again because I'm scared to spiral 
I really need encouragement because I know in Him, I am strong but I feel soo weak
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Hey, I know how you feel. I damaged a lot of relationships, and self-forgiveness isnât easy. But I canât forgive the ones who caused my trauma if I donât start with me (and, real talk, so I can forget them).
Youâre doing great. 22 days is amazing! Remember wanting just one day? God meets us where we are at. The woman at the well, the prodigal son, and the alcoholics of the 21st century. The sinners, not the righteous.
Itâs hard. I still cry for my daughter all the time. but youâre doing it a day at a time. Give yourself some grace đ«¶
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You're doing the right thing, you're doing good and that's all you can do now. Keep up the good work and stay strong and take it easy on yourself and love yourself and don't be so hard on self.
Keep up the good work and blessings.
We all made mistakes in the past, but you're doing good now and that's all you can do.
Hmu anytime if you want or need to talk.
Blessings 
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I feel you. I have a similar story. In my early 20s I was also a worship leader at my church, mainly for the youth group but also on the main team. It was a calling I walked away from and long to return to. It was a mix of family trauma that made me feel unsupported and not good enough - and the start of some tempting corporate success. That corporate success came with more ânever good enoughâ trauma and had me heavily drinking heavily in the name of âsuccessâ and âprogressâ and landed me in rehab. Iâve been battling the ones who hurt me and the ones I hurt ever since. Sometimes, our amends and forgiveness wonât be accepted, and thatâs really hard for people pleasers like us.
Prayer and journaling are super helpful to me too. I started writing day 1 and havenât stopped. Notice, you are starting to engage in healthy habits, and thatâs something to be proud of. Youâre taking the right steps and doing great!
Allow yourself some grace, and stay connected to support. Youâre going to get through this.
We don't grow without each other. We need to be there for each other. To support each other. To hold each other accountable. We did mess up. But... we can ask for forgiveness, too.
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