Im on day 23 and i’m super proud to say that. Its been up and down emotions since day one, but overall I know that I dont want to go back. I just also know that im tired of feeling so irritable, and stressed out about any and everything. Ive only ever known one thing id go to when i’d feel this way and now its taken from me. Ive reached out to a friend and that was less then helpful. I dont know how to sit and be uncomfortable with myself it’s literally driving me crazy, i dont feel okay
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I know exactly how you’re feeling as I felt that way today as well. I’m coming up on 4 months clean. All I can say is that it actually does get better and we get stronger. We learn to sit in the uncomfortable and we find new ways to find relief and comfort. I’ll be praying for you. Just hold on. Going back will only add to the pain and bring misery. Keep pushing forward. You can do this! I believe in you!
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My first year I cried every single day. No lie! Your feeling things you haven’t felt before because you were medicating yourself. Allow yourself to sit in your feelings and just feel them. Go to meetings, get a sponsor and make friends with like-minded people. They are the only ones who will truly understand!
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Meditation helps even if only for five minutes. Don’t try to do anything. Just close your eyes and count breaths. Five count in and out is integration breath. Easy anyone can do that, if your mind wonders just bring it back to the breath. Or go on YouTube and find some meditations. Down dog has some great breath work exercises and you can customize them from five minutes to an hour and it’s relatively cheap. They are guided. I think if you go through the Internet you can get the whole program for 7.99 a month. Then you can do yoga.
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It helps
I feel what you are saying. I remember when I first got clean. It was a mix of tired and irritability. I felt like a ball of raw nerves. I had to remember/learn what life is like and what it can be like unmedicated. I used to sleep and go for walks at the park. I would eat the good food and have a good cup of coffee even though in the beginning everything was dull because I had burned all my dopamine. It was small things. I remember using a new shampoo because the smell was calming. It was the smell of recovery. This all probably sounds dumb but for me it help me string some days together being clean. It made life without dopamine bearable and now life is better than any day that I ever got high. Everyday is unwritten and I love that I can stay in contentment or push myself but the choice is mine. I can live a life that drugs promised but never delivered. Last thing... Be kind to yourself. It is a journey but it will be worth it.
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Thank you, I know I need to keep pushing through, I just tend to get lost when I feel this way.
Thank you, I’m going to check them out it sounds like it could be helpful
I feel you. I also get lost when I feel that way. It’s definitely hard to come out of or move past. Sometimes it’s good to sit in the feelings at least for a moment. I’ve noticed simply acknowledging how I feel actually helps me to let go of it. I’m proud of you. This stuff ain’t easy. So worth it though.
This doesn’t sound dumb at all. You explaining how you felt in the beginning is exactly how I am feeling right now. “A ball of raw nerves” couldn’t explain my state right now any better.
I have been doing alot of the things you’ve said, things that I truly enjoy but have been having a hard time enjoying them due to having literally no dopamine like you said. I think it’s knowing that it’s going to take a while for me to truly enjoy things and that discourages me but I know that even this isn’t worse than going back to the way it was.
Thank you for your kind words 
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Early recover for me was a lot of shame and guilt once I accepted I can’t go back and most of my shame happened when using and drinking it got easier not easy but easier
So well said! One day at a time. Healing is hard and recovery is challenging, but it’s so worth the effort. You’ll only emerge stronger! Life is so short and precious - We deserve the right to live a life full of good, free from the chains on addiction.
First, you are okay. These feelings are normal! When we use alcohol, it releases dopamine which makes us feel good then it body releases cortisol to balance the dopamine high. Cortisol is the stress hormone. It will take a while for those levels to balance but don’t worry, they will balance! When you feel that cortisol-take a walk, deep breath, drink a glass of water, put on some music and dance or try prayers to and meditation. You got this! One moment at a time 🫶🙏
Taylor, early sobriety can be turbulent, but do know that it will pass.
Get super involved with your sober program, go to in person meetings, get a sponsor or 3 and go the 12 steps. This is our medicine! It really works if you work it.
I’m here if you want to talk