Day 25th of July

Struggling Help
#1

Today and this whole journey on my addiction and alcoholism is getting worse and I feel it making me more depressed and sad the more I do it. I stop for a little while and I’m back at it again.
I can’t figure out how to forgive myself and my husband.
I catch myself crying every day and just trying to feel alright!
I feel lost. Angry! Jealous! And insecure.
I really want to stop!
But I end up back at it again in the next week around!!!

This is so hard! Now I do it to numb myself and forget how everything isn’t working out for me. I lost my motivation and my support. My husband and I now do this almost every week now. It’s very sickening and depressing! Sometimes I wish I wasn’t here.
Today I have a really bad hangover and a bad come down. I guess this is what happens when you get to sobering up…
There is so much to explain..
but everyone is tired of me complaining about my own problems when (they say) I don’t try to change it.
I try but I always end up at the beginning again! I am a constant relapser and it sucks! I haven’t been sober at least a week in a couple of months… :frowning:

3 Likes
#4

Hey Shanice, a book that changed my life not too long ago is 'Alan Carr's quit drinking without willpower'. I think reading it will help you let go of alcohol and not miss anything, and grow in the ways you want to.

#5

You are not alone. Let others teach you to love and be kind to yourself. Just by being a person, no matter what your struggles may be, you are of infinite worth. As such, you deserve to create your best life. Commit to sobriety and you will get there. Gather strength by considering those who have gone before you and found success and their true selves in recovery.

#6

Shanice

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.

They are

restless, irritable and discontented

(sound familiar?)

unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks. Drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again as so many do and the

"phenomenon of craving"

develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an

"entire psychic change"

there is very little hope of his or her recovery.”

This "psychic change" is acquired when you go to AA meetings and take the 12 steps of AA.

The program was written by alcoholics for alcoholics.

1 Like
#7

Have you tried doing the 12 Steps?

#8

Shanice.. please get a support help.. online or in person.. that’s the first step

#9

Hey Shanice keep trying different ways to enjoy and focus on sober living until you find what works for you