Day 4, no gambling. Really struggling with intrusive thoughts

Recovery
#1

Good morning to everyone.

This morning has been particularly difficult for me... I started dwelling on the times I've relapsed, and the moment where I knew I had a choice but the dopamine pull was too strong...

I've thought often of the man of integrity I once was (or my perceptions of it anyway.) However, I am strong for continuously standing when I fall. I try to search for methods that keep me on the path.

I've noticed I always get the whisper, "you’ve won xxxx before, you could fill your account again." That is what normally leads me into a casino. I need to journal daily, and remind myself of what I've been through and how much better I feel when I'm no longer barely making ends meet and the snowball of negativity from that.

Much love to you guys. Keep on fighting, you aren't alone.

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#2

The siren call I call it- it sucks, but getting a healthy distraction, and redirecting myself help a lot! Stay strong, you got this :100:

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#3

Thank you Jay. I'm trying to remain vigilant.

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#4

Stay strong! I had to remember the highs of winning typically came with the deepest depression from losing

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#5

I get it. For me, the first sign of that thought even showing up. That’s my red flag. I’ve trained myself to shut it down quick, grab a distraction, call somebody, get outside, whatever it takes. Because I know if I even entertain it, I’ll end up back where I swore I wouldn’t go. Keep going

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