Today is gonna be hard. I have 3 days sober and today will be day 4 if I can make it but the cravings are strong. My fiancé is also having trouble with day 4.. going through this with a partner can be a godsend when you’re both doing good.. but all it takes is for one of us to break and the other falls with them. I already expect that he isn’t gonna make it through today and that is causing me even more cravings in expectation and almost hope that he will get something later when he gets off work. 
Makes me feel awful that I am kinda hoping my fiancé wants to relapse later. At the same time, I don’t want that at all.. and I hope we push through.