Woke up sad, anxious. Saw clips of my daughter partying last night. The realization that she's in deep s*it hit hard. She's no where near even thinking about quitting and it's really the last thing I need to get caught up in codependent behavior when I'm just trying to save myself at the moment. It's difficult. I drank on/off a lot when she was growing up and I feel like it's my fault. I'm particularly concerned because of a few stories she's shared in the past and because she only drinks hard liquor. Had that been the case for me I'd be dead. I'm pretty upset. But I've been around the program long enough to know I cannot transmit something I don't have so all I can do is stay sober and hope to be an example someday should she need me. It's really painful and I know now Ive been avoiding this subject for a long time. 
It's definitely got to be part of my amends as well. Feeling feelings ain't so grand this morning. It's like I've woken up to reality after a long sleep. I'm grateful 
to have 41 days and grateful my girl has a good job, owns a home but we all know that can be lost in a blink. I'm going to focus on myself but the pain in my soul is really deep as I worry and love her so much 
these are the feelings I drank to avoid. Wake up calls are hard to swallow but a necessary part of walking through the steps. I see her drinking sort of as part of my own wreckage. I was young when I had her...early 20's. She was probably born with this predisposition just like I was but it doesn't help my heart or guilt.
Hi Kelly! 41 solid days of self discovery and growth!! Congrats my friend!! Thank you for sharing!! I have a 20 and 22 year old, so I have seen a lot of behaviors from them that scare me as well. Iām grateful we have a daily spiritual program, and the fellowship to help us and support us thru these feelings. Sending you virtual hugs momma 
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Thank you Lee. I'm definitely trying to use the tools today, hit a meeting and went for my walk. Appreciate you. This is scary. Feeling feelers?! Ack, so interesting it took 41 days to hit. Wow!
Whatever her reasons may be, what you could focus on is how your example of pulling yourself out of it and improving your life now could influence her in a positive direction. We can't change our past, but we can always work on ourselves in the present and focus on the positive impacts we could have on others in the course of our recovery.