Day two and already can't stop crying. I feel like I ruined my trust in my relationship from sneaking alcohol. I just want to feel that loved again but I understand why he can't right now. I wish I didn't feel like this but even through this sadness I will not drink today.
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I know how hard it can be to feel the feelings without using alcohol to numb them - way to stay strong! Be proud of yourself for that. Let yourself be sad and process, then try to let it go. For me it helps to go for a walk, get coffee with a friend or go to a meeting. Getting out of your environment and doing something for yourself may help! Way to stay sober- you are strong and things will get better 
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Thank you for your words of encouragement! Feeling is overwhelming and I forgot how intense it was. But cheers to being sober. Drinking lots of water helps.
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Trust can be rebuilt. It will take time but if you show not tell things can work themself out. Like Molly said, face the feels, process them and let them go. Don’t hold on to them, it won’t do you any good. You got this, and we have your back!
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You can’t if you want him back
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Trust is a lot like a bridge. You can destroy it but it can still be rebuilt. It may not look the same. It may not be sturdy at first. It will take time, and effort. Perhaps you could talk him into an alanon meeting.
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Feelings suck....I hated them when I first got clean, just remember... this is what I was told... yes, feelings suck sometimes, however, they won't kill you, drinking will...cry away... it is a cleansing... focus on your recovery first, everything else will fall into place in your journey.
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Everyday you don’t drink is another day you have of rebuilding what was broken. You may not feel trust coming back, but it’s like weight loss. You don’t notice it day to day, but the cumulative effect is noticeable over time. You will get there!! Put in the work, as hard as it will be. You will reap the rewards! Also, if your significant other is willing, include them in the process. It will help them to see you putting in the work, and also may shed some light on just how hard fighting alcoholism is for us. Especially in the beginning stages. Some groups offer family inclusion in the process. It can work wonders for a relationship. Keep working hard, and keep reaching out!
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I have been in the very same spot. I've had quite the roller coaster over the last year and sometimes the feelings and emotions are worse than the withdrawals and hanxiety. I don't go to meetings but instead, I started coming here to relate. I journal like crazy, I utilize a goal planner (there are some great ones on Amazon), I read self help books, I meditate.... I think the hardest thing for me right now is not having the ability to surround myself around sober friends. Changing your environment can be tough but I have noticed this is critical to recovery. Be nice to yourself, even when it's hard. I'm only 3 days back in but I refuse to give up bc I know things only get better with time. You can't look at the big picture. One day at a time, that's all you need to focus on. As far as your relationship, everyone processes this struggle very differently and you have to accept that. You can only do your best, you are human. I wish you all the best.
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