I lost someone really close to me last week. Just got home from the funeral. I have 3 and a half years sober and luckily don’t feel the need to use or cravings… but I don’t know how to grieve. Didn’t cry once at the funeral or in hospice. Kind of wish I did. I feel like it’s all pent up inside and I don’t know how to let it go. How do you all deal with loss?
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When I know I 'need' a good cry I watch a movie or show that will make me lol. Not sure if it's the same for you, but it might work!
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Hi Jack,
In the 8 years before I got sober I lost several people close to me. Regardless to say, I did not handle it well. My best friend live a little ways out but we talked on the phone every day. His passing was devastating. After getting I would sometimes pick up my phone and talk to him like he was on the other end. For my dad I mourn him by trying to be as good of a dad as he was. I was sober mourning my marriage, with that it took time and a willingness of acceptance. A good friend in sobriety recently passed. I just think about his off the wall comments and questions at meetings. Each death is different as is each relationship so the mourning will be different as well. Just my thoughts on the matter. Stay strong man.
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There is no one right way to grieve. My wife died in Dec 2021, and we had 3 1/2 yrs in AA together. They were the best years of our twenty years together. It was unexpected. I got help with grieving. I have a Ph D in counseling psychology and I am beginning to feel whole again. No one is immune to loss. Grief is love. & Grief is healing. It takes about 18 months for an average loss of a spouse. How to Survive a Loss of a Love is one of the ten most often recommended books by therapists in the USA. It is very clear and easy to read short and sweet. Better read several times in the crucial 18 months. Like many great reads are. (Including the Big Book). In Chinese the calligraph for crisis means two things, 1 danger, 2 opportunity! 
🫂
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