I know this song was written for the movie Twilight but every time I hear it I think about what my wife must've been thinking to herself after I relapsed on heroine and OD'd after many years clean, "How did we get here? I used to know you so well." Then "There is something, I see in you. It might kill me, I want it to be true." Is why I think she stayed with me and helped me get back to being the best husband, father, son and friend I can be. 10 months sober now and never sailing on that ship again!
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This illness can be both so devastating and so beautiful. Active addiction is extremely destructive to ourselves and our loved ones. My poor wife didn’t deserve the bomb I dropped on her head. I’m not sure why my wife decided to stay. 9 out of 10 would’ve been long gone. Even with almost a 30 year and 2 kids history together, I’m still in awe that she had the strength to push thru the tremendous wreckage I created. It’s been almost 15 months of recovery now. I’m no longer the sick and wounded animal that I had become. Like you, I’m back to being a good husband and father. Sometimes I can understand why she stayed. I’m not bad when I’m mentally healthy lol. Although there’s been lots of forgiveness on all sides of the equation, there are times she gets angry, and times that I’m ashamed and upset at myself for how I hurt her. We have to come to learn to live with our past as we move forward into a much happier and healthier future. I’m happy for you my brother. Keep pushing forward ODAAT 
❤🩹
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Great words and thanks for sharing brother!
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