Desperately need advice

Had to start a new account being my wife is checking it and doesn’t like what I’m saying, not bad stuff just being honest- but she is a heavy drinker and it affects my sobriety.

I’ve Been sober a month. 37 years as a drinker, started at 12 and last 7 months turned into a morning day and night drinker. Put myself through detox, my wife helped and seemed sincere, and I don’t ever want to do that again, ever.

Her life is in shambles and she has been blaming me, we will never know until she stops her morning day and night drinking. But I love her and want the love to come back.

Then last night I got home after she called and asked me to come home. Minutes later her phone rang and I guess she called her ex husband to have her brother call her, she asked him to be her sponsor. I don’t agree with this, is that unreasonable? We promised one another for 10 years we would confide In the opposite gender, let alone her ex-husband’s family. And she has always been weird around this “brother”, hugs but more like embraces, etc. they were on the phone for an hour and half spilling it all out to him from the little I heard.

She has a kid with her ex husband. Complicates things even farther. She has been blaming me for her drinking, yelling at me out of nowhere for reasons that never happened, building a wall against my daughter who dearly loves her but just hates all the drinking.

My wife slandered me in February to her family summing up 10 years of drunk fighting, worst stuff she could think of I’ve apparently said, not our arguments… just what I said , maybe I did and don’t remember but I’ve asked for forgiveness regularly. Her family cut ties with me.

Idk what to do or how to react to all of this but this is my 3rd marriage, yes thank you alcohol, and I know there are warning signs I’m all too familiar with.

How do I react? I feel betrayed and hurt.

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Hi, M.
How do you react?
You focus on you- your personal growth, and your recovery.
I highly recommend 90 meetings in 90 days. Listen. As some old school peeps would put it, take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. Listen to the men in recovery sharing their experience, strength, and hope. When you hear someone who has a life that you'd like to have, you ask them to sponsor you. If they cannot, you ask another, and another. Don't give up. Get the literature, read it. Work steps.
The only way to even start to have a healthy relationship is to be a healthy partner, and brother, I don't know about you, but I've not really known what the H that looks like, so I've got to learn.
Stay in your own lane. Work on you. Love can be beautiful and terrible. Today, I'm focused on learning what healthy means.

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Healthy partner is important