Despite this morning, being incredibly hard for me. I’m trying to do all the right things. This morning, I really did not want to wake up. I was hoping the night was gonna take me. So as I sit here riding in my journal. I’m writing down when I’m grateful for. As well as things I can look forward to in my day. I’m gonna be going to a meeting tonight which I’m grateful to be able to have that. I’m also grateful for the people in my life that care. I’m doing all this despite how I’m feeling. I know for me I have to do the opposite of what my depression and anxiety are telling me to do. I just wanna give myself some kindness with what I’m doing so I know I’m doing the right thing. Showing myself with the kindness is the hardest part. I can do all the right things in and participate in things to make myself feel better. Yeah there’s a lot of times I just continue to beat myself up about that. I’m really trying so hard not to do that right now.
Rachel, thank you! Youre definitely not alone. I’ve felt very similar many times. I can tell that this too shall pass. Hang in there! I’m here if you want to talk
You are already Showing that you have exceptional strength, by fighting the demons. Success is not always easy to achieve. But it is definitely possible.
You are as strong as you are tenacious. I'm proud of you. You got this!!
You don’t have to worry about yesterday. And tomorrow will have its own snags. Just know today you are sober and you are loved. You have worth. Use that worth as a reminder that today is your day. Cash in on yourself. You got this. I’m 8 days in on a boat load of attempts. But this time is different. This time I feel different because this time it for my worth and not because of trying not to let anyone else down. Can’t fix that if you can’t fix this. Use your worth.
My biggest resentment was me, I was incapable of forgiving myself for everything i did in active addiction. After some hard work i forgave myself because beating myself up was keeping me sick
Stop being so hard on yourself, breathe and do some meditation. Give yourself some credit, and don’t allow your feelings to dictate to you, because remember it starts in your stinky thinking, get your tool box and do something you enjoy, read a book, go for a walk, listen to music you like, pray. If you sit and let those thoughts to control you it would. Shake it off and do something for you. I know you can do it.
I can relate to this too.
I’m really moved by the way you’re pushing through such dark feelings and still showing up with gratitude and meetings. That takes so much courage. I also want to say, if those thoughts about not wanting to wake up come back strong, please reach out right away for extra support. You can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You don’t have to fight through those feelings by yourself. I know what those feelings feel like too and while they are happening it’s hard to feel or think positive, but this too shall pass. Trust this process it works. Dm me anytime ok.
I’m here with you. You are doing everything you can despite the feeling you are feeling. Be thankful for those people that care and the meeting you can attend. I struggle to engage in action when I’m feeling low and depressed and I give myself an “out” to not doing anything even though I just need to take the action. You are loved
Hi Rachel! Thanks for sharing. I still beat myself up about my past and feel less than, even after being sober 20 years. It's crazy! I would never tell someone else that they should dwell on the past and feel bad about it. The truth is we can't change it. God shows us grace and mercy and we show it to others, so I think we should give ourselves some and definitely be grateful 
Amen to that!
The guilt will consume you if you let it. You may think being proud of yourself is a selfish act. It's not. The strength you've had to forge through despite the feelings you endure is amazing!! I'm proud of you. The human being that is wanting to emerge is going to win. One step at a time.
Even when I'm sad and lonely, I'm optimistic and happy.
I'd have to forget everything good about life to be totally down