I know this sounds simply put but this has only been 6 months out of your entire life and maybe a little more. I felt just like you except I just got out of prison with absolutely nothing, literally some goodwill clothes that were given to me and some money I made at work release! Now, 4 years later I have a beautiful home, wife, 3 year old daughter and a great career. Just be patient and try to encourage someone else instead of beating yourself down. This is only temporary. I know in the moment it doesn't seem like it but it is. So you think that using gave you all of those things you're missing? You may have had them when you were but they def weren't a result of you using lol. This is just a season that your higher power is trying to shape your character and maturity through! Tree roots grow stronger from strong winds and the roots are what keep the tree planted. If you support a tree and don't allow it to feel the winds it will not grow as strong as it should and when you remove the support it falls in the littlest storm! Adversity builds character. God must think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for because He never gives us more than we can bear!
I’m sorry you’re so down today. I found it helpful to slow slow slow my roll. We want it all yesterday. Let’s just try to do the best we can today. It’s all we got.
I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I have this phrase that’s been helping me recently and it’s “everything gets messy before it gets clean.” Things will get better you just have to keep going. I know it’s not easy, but this is your life, and I know you can get through all of this. Message me if ya need !
You can sincerely have those areas of life which you desire by being sober.
If such was false, n o one would seek sobriety to begin with and / or have years and lifetimes of sobriety.
Question if what you may be thinking is true is actually … well. True.
Everyone of course holds a different reality. My experience-alcohol, substances destroy areas of life. It is a delusion that these substances improve life.
I work in an environment surrounded by alcohol ( entertainment industry ).
In fact, in just a little bit-i will head to work and see tons of people drinking and thinking that it is somehow making everything more wonderful and fun. People seem to forget about the time, money, wasted, possibility of getting pulled over, d u i (s), ending up in jail. In some cases, death.
Yes. Life can absolutely suck at times. Not disputing this fact. The thinking that going back to using will improve your life is an outright lie. It is not factual. I am sincerely sorry that it sucks right now-while I hope you choose sobriety. It is worth it ( from someone with close to ten months of sobriety which I want to keep going bc alcohol is a f - cking liar who wants to see me ruin my life. I am n o t falling for the lies anymore. Truly wish you well. Nothing in life remains the same. Please do not give up on yourself and / or sobriety. I am telling myself so as well!
3 years clean and sometimes I still have a craving to use But I hit meetings have a sponsor doing 12 steps. My sponsors says if I don’t pick it up it won’t get in me. But it takes more work then that to stay clean. I do an inventory and do what keeps you sane on those rough days see why you feel the way you feel. It’s easy to deviate from what works for us Spiritually, emotionally, and physically.