I was fired, I got COVID, I’ve been in my mom’s place for six months. I have no savings, no boyfriend, and no social life. The only advice my sponsor has is to go to meetings. I’m tired of meetings. I want my life back. When I was using I had great jobs, my own place, lots of friends and events to go to. I moved out of state to escape my triggers and I regret sacrificing so much to be sober. The only advantage I can see is being able to pass a ton of drug tests while I look for a new job. I hate my life. Being sober isn’t worth the sacrifice anymore.
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Hang in there, I'm sure you've heard it a ton, but it gets better.
And I've been where you are, you're right! It freaking sucks! But do you feel like doo doo? Are you worrying about a lie you told to cover another one?
Go out! Find a sober underground, they're there.
I'm sorry I don't have anything better to tell you.
Go do something cool for someone, it always makes me feel good and you help them too.
Good luck! You're awesome
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Think about this
“It’s doesn’t matter how fast you are going what matters is that you going in the right direction “ Keep going in the right direction!!!
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I have felt the same way you are I stopped going to meetings recently and now I read this Ap more but I am still going to go in the right direction!
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I also lost my job from getting COVID
With out a job I changed my direction and had idle time so I drank all day then the police came knocking on my car window and I was passed out at the store I bought liquor from and now I’m in trouble and have to go to court soon
Stay in the right direction
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Sobriety is a lifestyle of action. I have to first recognize the things not going right, then examine myself by asking where or what is going wrong to cause it, then I take that mindset to my meetings/ program and listen to ways others have corrected similar problems. I have worked the steps with rigorous honesty and use them in for every aspect of my life. That usually gives my a plan that I’m responsible to put into action to better my own life’s, we are the authors of our own books. Choosing what words to write changes how the story reads. You are worth healthy, happy recovery just gotta put into recovery what you’d like to get out of it.
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I get that. The problem is that I have put everything into it. But I don’t see any rewards at all. I left my relationship for sobriety. I left many friends. I don’t even apply to certain jobs because I know the staff will be full of users. I only go to sober events with sober people instead of actual fun parties. And I have nothing to show for it.
Have you worked the 12 steps of recovery yet?
Trying. First sponsor relapsed, second sponsor never has time.
The truth is that staying sober is worth it ! Hang in there you are strong and not alone be brave
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sorry to be a bit brutally honest here but I’d challenge that you’ve put everything into the program with self accountability. I hear that there is plenty of blame on others. It’s your responsibility to find the right sponcor that will hold you accountable and lead you through the steps. I tell my Sponcee’s that if your giving me the poor me’s it will be followed by pour me a drink. If you really wanted to work the steps you’d find a way like your life depended on it. My life did depend on it and I fought for my sobriety and health like it did. I now have a very good life. Not perfect but with a rigorous honest program I’m content and healthy
You’re going through a tough time right now. I will say this, sometimes, for some people, the 12 step programs and sponsors aren’t the way to go. For some people yes, but not for all. If all your sponsor is saying to you is to go to meetings, and doesn’t have time for you, then you either need a new sponsor, or another method to manage recovery and life. Meetings don’t always give you the tools YOU need to manage life and the issues that come within it. The programs aren’t always the cure for that. Therapy is another option, with a professional who is trained in addiction and recovery and general life/mental health skills and tools, and there are other ways. You gotta find what is right for you. Don’t give up on sobriety because it’s not going right currently, just readjust to how you’ve been doing it maybe? If you need someone to talk to or that will just listen to you, reach out to me. I’ll be glad to help anyway I can.
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Idk what you mean by blaming others or “poor me.” My post and comments were made with objective facts. If your advice is to dump my sponsor, the reality is that it will take time for me to find a new one in my program with enough time and willingness to sponsor. Meaning that it’s more time wasted not doing the steps.
I’d suggest saying poor me before the first several sentences of your post and see if it changes your perspective. I’m actually a really good guy with lots of experience in recovery, I’ve seen people in your spot several times before and it’s always a change of perspective that is needed. So I’ll use one of your points in the poor me mindset…. Poor me, I want to work the steps but my sponcor doesn’t have time and then accepting that for yourself. A recovery mindset may sound like this…I need to work the steps to meet the goal of mine to have happy sobriety. She is a good person but I can’t change her time availability, I need to find someone who is eagerly willing and has the time to help me meet my needs. Then put that into action.
If I come across a woman in my program with the time and willingness to sponsor I will ask her to sponsor me and dump my current sponsor. My point was that having a sponsor with limited time is better than having no sponsor. There’s no point in dumping her while there are no other options available to me.
And I would say that having savings, a social life, a good job, and a boyfriend are goals. Reflecting on the fact that sobriety has cost me all of those things & given me little in return is not “poor me.” Sobriety is more isolating than my addiction was. Thats just a fact that I’m trying to come to terms with instead of immediately relapsing.
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I agree with that for sure, I also hear that your miserable and there is magic in the steps. Your worth this and there is better out there for you. You can do it
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I know how you feel. I’m in a rehab program and also in a similar situation. Everyone tells me that it will get better but it is taking so much time that it is really frustrating. I also want my life back I think part of what I’m trying to accept is that I’m working on building a new life and with time I will get back a new job, a new social life a new boyfriend and this will be better than before. Just not right now. It’s a tough time and it’s difficult because those that have been through it do say it will get better it’s just this is the rough time. It is rough, girl. Let it out. I hear you.
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