I am on day one coming back from my first lapse after 60 days. I am trying so hard to be gentle with myself but can’t shake the immediate and consuming feeling of hopelessness. Has anyone experienced this? What helped you accept having to reset the clock?
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Hi Kyle. Don't beat yourself up about a relapse. Although I've been fortunate enough to not have one. I do know this...I just like you have been sober for the last 24 hours and that's something that I'm proud of and so should you
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Day one back is better than another day out there. Get as much support as you can: meetings, sponsor, support system(people you can trust). It works, it really does!
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You’re not resetting the clock. You’re learning what can make you susceptible to using again. Don’t live in the guilt and shame. You are worth recovery and it’s hard learning yourself again when we are feeling all of the raw emotions. Keel searching for new coping skills and give yourself grace every moment.
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Please don’t be hard on yourself as relapses happen. I have relapsed a few times in my journey... Take this time to reflect on how you’re feeling, if it helps put it all down on paper or even put it as a note on your phone. Express on your feelings and what brought you there. Then take a moment to vision your goals (short and long term), the outcome you get from being sober, all the good it brings to you.
Next time you’re having questions of doubt and the urge to use go back and revisit what you wrote so you can understand that yes you may feel like you want to cave but you know if you stay strong and fight that urge you will come out feeling so much better, so much closer to what you want to achieve.
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