Wednesday morning, I had what I think was a panic attack. I felt completely overwhelmed and underequipped to handle anything. I didn't go to work. I just got on my motorcycle and rode. It was 6:30 in the morning. I had no direction and no idea what I was doing, I looked up in the sky and saw an eagle.And then a deer ran out in front of me.
Thankfully, I safely avoided hitting the deer, and the car that was traveling behind me saw it and slowed down and didn't hit me. It was then that I recognized the driver of that car. A fellow coworker who had just gotten off of a night shift. She recognized me and took the time to stop and make sure I was okay.
Normally, I would have just said yes. This time, however, I looked in her eyes and said, no. I'm not alright. She could tell at that moment that I was struggling and she invited me over coffee.
I sat with her for an hour and a half, and she listened while I talked. That meant so much!
I took this event as a bit of a sign and reached out to my son, whom I was supposed to pick up on thursday night. I let him know that I was able to come pick him up today if that worked for him. (He lives 200km away). He said yes for sure. So I went home, got my car, and headed out to the city to pick him up. We had a great day and hung out.
Yesterday I get-up-and-go to work.
And I have this funny feeling during my shift. I work from 6am till 3pm. The shift is a long one with a few crappy events happening. However, that's normal where I work. When my shift is done, I leave and check my phone. I have a message on there from my son sent less than ten minutes ago. He says, " Hey, dad, when are you done work?Something's not right.I don't feel good." I call him and let him know.I just finished. What's wrong? He was mowing a friend's lawn when he felt a lot of pain in his abdomen. He is now buckled over in pain alone in the yard and no one's home. I head straight over, pick him up, and bring him into the hospital. I will spare the details, but the surgeon took a look. They did an ultrasound, and he was rushed into emergency surgery. By 8 p.m., he was out of surgery and healing in ICU.
He is doing much better now. After a very long day yesterday and night, I finally had time to write this.
Now, I don't know if this is any sort of divine intervention. Truthfully, i'm not a religious man. I do try to maintain a level of spirituality, which I find is a very difficult thing, sometimes especially as an addict. But this series of events is leading me to believe that everything happened as it did for a reason.
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Keep looking up & listen to your natural instincts. God knitted you together in your mother’s womb and He knows you better than anyone. Ask Him questions you have and He can answer. It may not happen instantly, it may happen as a small voice from him, He may lead you to things you talk to him about, it may come as a message through other people. Just increase your awareness of Him and what’s going on around you and he will guide you to peace That can overtake the need to medicate. 
❤‍🩹:sunglasses: Check out Celebrate Recovery! I have heard so many times true recovery happens in community
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