I was hoping to wake up with a better attitude and some positive energy. Yet here I am wanting to stay in bed…I just want a day to not think, not feel, just rest. I heard someone say “I drank everyday, so now I go to a meeting every day”.
It makes sense to put as much work and effort into sobriety as I did drinking. I just don’t feel like it took as much effort and energy. I don’t feel like I have time to do anything besides IOP, Meetings, step work, talk to sponsor, work, house work.
I can’t say it’s so making me want to drink…but I can see how I could easily say eff it I need a break!
I do need a break…I just don’t have time for even a day off.
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You have a lot on your plate. Take a breath. We all know those feels… trust me. Sometimes a break is needed. You are about 2 months into the journey right? Stop and smell the roses if you need to. As long as you don’t pick up, and are honest about it… take a break. Just don’t use it as an excuse to not do the work, or have an extended stay in break world. That’s when the sneaky bast@rd that is our addiction bites us in the as$. Stay honest to your health and your program. It will get easier, I promise.
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I totally get you. I’ve been where you are. Early sobriety is extremely difficult. Feeling our feelings is exhausting! Especially since many of these feelings are guilt, shame, and remorse as a consequence of our drinking. Not to mention all of the other issues we’ve been running from for years. It does get better. Just keep doing what you’re doing and keep coming back. Sounds like you’re working with a 12 step program. That’s great! Keep doing your morning prayers and meditation. It will begin to click. I’m very cognizant of the feelings of wanting to “escape”, and “daddy needs a break”. These are very dangerous feelings for me today. My escape and breaks now have to come from the tools I’ve learned in recovery. Realizing I don’t control the world, and that I can only control myself. I go to meetings, talk to my sponsor and friends, do my prayers and meditation… it all helps to calm me down and not feel the need to “run”
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Well I guess I need to be grateful the grind huh?
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Thank you for that
I need to work in the meditation part 
Me too lol. It’s another one of those things we just need to practice. It’s seems so unnatural at first, but eventually you will begin to enjoy it. Start with 1 minute of quiet time. Keep it simple.
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Sometimes staying in bed all day IS the answer.
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Anytime! You are doing a great job. Just remember that as well!
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