Does anyone have any skills for abandonment issues I desperately need something to help me
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Iāve had and still have abandonment issues. My parents sent me away at 14 and my wife left me when I was trying to get sober. When my sobriety started to take hold those issues got better but theyāve never really gone away. What works for me is trying to let go of my self-hatred. Iāve gotten better at that with sobriety, and my improved self-esteem from not hating myself makes it easier to let go of my abandonment issues and more comfortable to just be me (alone or not).
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Iām so sorry to hear that happened to you
The AA Big Book talks about this. It suggest the AA is not a cure for all illās. It is suggested that we seek out one of the many skilled Doctors, Psychiatrists, or other professionals. āWe are not Doctorsā
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I am dealing with this now. Iām in a very painful situation. I have availed myself of Doctors, Therapists, and of course my sponsor. Also, I discuss ā in a general wayā in meetings and talk with my fellows in AA. This helps, but doesnāt completely remove the pain. āThis too shall passā
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Itās okay that it happened, because Iāve developed the skills I need to get past it.
My wife left in March after 10 years. I focus my time on my recovery, my work, and my health.
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In my life either someone leaves me or passes away. Only thing I have it my 1 year old son
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Jesus ! He can fill any hole in our heart . My ex left me and our children after 25 years together . Broke my heart but with God all things are possible ! Become hungry to heal and seek therapy too, podcasts, webinars , you can and will recover.
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Iām so sorry I pray it gets better 
Attachment issues that many of us struggle with start in childhood. Give yourself permission to love you for you. Stay in today. You are not alone in feeling this way. 
I don't know much about this but my therapist pointed me to the 'how we love' site which has some resources. I don't know if it is helpful in the moment, but I try to remember that none of us are truly alone, regardless of the reality of persons in our lives.
Yesss a subject I can hopefully help on. Iām a proud member of ACA adult children of alcoholics and disfunction in childhood. It helps us heal from abandonment issues by teaching us to not abandon ourselves. It has absolutely changed my life.
Iām 68 years old and I still deal with it.. my mother gave me away when I was born but my grandpa found me and came got me.. I lived with my granny til I was 9.. thatās when my mother filed for custody.. I still had to live in a foster home for almost a year.. I finally came to live with my mother and her family.. but I didnāt live with her but 3 years.. my stepdad started raping me and I moved in with different people.. and finally back to my granny.. but she already took in my cousin and didnāt really want me either.. so basically Iāve been on my own since I was 13.. Iāve always wondered what I did to have nobody want me.. I still think about it.. my mother passed away 3 years ago.. but I took care of her for 14 years.. she had 2 bouts with lung cancer.. nobody else was there for her.. and people wanted to know why I was.. the way she was to me.. but I was taught to respect your parents.. my granny instilled what was right and wrong.. I guess I just tried to make her love me.. I drank all my life.. until I couldnāt anymore.. then I moved on to drugs.. but Iām clean and sober now and Iāve excepted the past.. thereās nothing I can do to change it. Iām moving forward with a new life.. if thereās anything you want to know I can tell you.. God will help you get thru it..
That I'd a great suggestion
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I've been done this to all my life and I got use to it and then broke myself out of my shell and got to get talking with other speaking on post an such
Abandonment is a tricky thing. I think because we give it a name and a place. One that we can blame and hide in. I say this because the people who abandon us aren't who we need in our lives. Even if we think we do. They are someone who's life we want to be in, but are not. If they were a healthy part of our life, we wouldn't feel abandonment. That being said, because we are moving forward in change, we don't see or know what we do need, or is healthy in our life. We have a tendency to look back and reflect, and regret, and reconsider unhealthy options we had, versus the healthy options we can get. Simply because its not in front of us. Its possible that those people, places, and things were healthy for us at the time. But we were not healthy to ourselves at that time either. Which is why we are here. Its helped me remembering that I'm changing, I'm growing, I'm healing. That I'm affirming all new things for my new life, and I either haven't been introduced yet to what I needed, or I haven't realized yet how much I need it. Still I remember what I don't need is anything that made me feel abandoned, or anything that led me to abandonment. Therefor ALL new possibilities are welcome, even if I haven't reached them YET. I'm not able to see what is healthy for me, and what is not (to some extent). I know I don't want to be where I was, or who left me when I needed someone. I'm running new circles, in New routes, with new patterns, and habits. It will take some time for them to develop into routines I can rely on. But I have to pave that path. If I'm present enough when I'm doing so, I often find new rewards and pleasures and adventure along my way. Where as that road down there that I've been on, we have all been on...we know where that goes, what's down there, and where it leads. So far recovery hasn't done me wrong, or left me behind, so I have nothing to judge it by. I'm becoming more comfortable with it every day, and am enjoying myself more with the new qualities of life I'm letting myself keep. Instead of those that always let me down.
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