Does anyone here sometimes feel like they don’t relate to the alcoholic community? Sometimes when I hear how alcoholism affects others, I feel bad for not really relating in the same way.
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This happens a lot to me. I found that exploring different meeting can expose you to different environments and perhaps you’ll find one that has regulars that stories coincide with yours. Good luck
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I feel the same.... even my recovery center therapists would tell me im a rare case. . But were all fighting for the same thing ya know
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We are all different and have different experiences. But we are also all here for basically the same reason.
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I don’t always relate but deep down I do. I drink I get drunk, totally wasted. It’s that simple, a very simple truth I ignored for decades. Once I start it’s as if I’m a predator of booze. I will drink until I’m out. I never had a habit like some of those I see here, that drank a fifth or gallon of hard liquor a day, but my history tells me I am a wreck when I do drink and I’ve been that way since I was a teen. I could, proudly at the time, out drink anyone in my circle. How I got through college and obtained multiple degrees is beyond my comprehension. I’ve had a great career but also many personal setbacks and I didn’t see the correlation but I do now. After all, how could I achieve so much and have a problem? Reality is, I have a problem. I can’t do one or two drinks. Once I unleash the beast I’m a predator of booze. I wrecked cars, went to jail, got in fights, and committed crimes. I’m an alcoholic. The sooner one realizes this, the better. The sooner one quells this disaster, the better, for oneself and anyone one else in one’s circle of influence. There is absolutely no upside to alcohol or drugs.
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Make sure you're not comparing yourself to others. You'll compare yourself right out of the program. You came to the program for a reason. You must able to relate to someone. Also, try reading some stories in the back of the Big Book of AA and see if you can relate.
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Yes Lisa. I feel exactly the same way. And have been condescended to by people that will say, “don’t compare” or “you’ve not been around a long time”. Meanwhile I know what’s in my mind and heart. I relate completely to this.
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I related to other peoples feelings. The desperation, hopelessness, isolation, guilt, shame, fear, and all those similar experiences that we all share.
Our specific examples are different, but we all crossed lines we swore we wouldn’t because of our addictions.
For me, I swore I’d never drink and drive. I swore I’d never drink at work. I swore I’d never drink in the morning. I swore I’d never lie to my kids. I swore I’d pay my dad back. I swore I wouldn’t steal. Then, I swore I wouldn’t drink and drive with my kids. I wouldn’t drink at work until the end of the day. I’d only drink in the mornings on my days off. My dad didn’t need the money. Nobody’s going to notice if I get a “free refill” or grab a bottle of hot sauce off the table.
But day by day, hour by hours, I found myself justifying my behavior. And when I got into a program, I heard so many more people who had their own examples.
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I have. Then I thought maybe it’s my addiction and it’s tendency to want to pull me to be alone. So I pushed and pushed to make connections and talk to people anyway. And it’s been worth it.
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Yes… but we can be friends and feel less lonely
Everyone’s journey is different. I’ve never been to a meeting. I’m extremely introverted. Having said that, I don’t berate anyone that does. They’ve helped millions and that’s great. It’s just not for me. I do like this forum, though. Someday I may go to a meeting if I feel I need it.
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Kind of, I have a hard time the groups I go to are mostly drug ones as well as the rehab I was in. I'm often the only alcohol but not drugs person. I mean there are alcoholics too but usually with other substances too. Not talking down just saying I can't relate to certain things, example I had never heard of fentanyl until this year.
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We all have one thing in common once I put that poison in me I can’t stop. That is the sickness And where sickness thrives bad things happen. We all have different stories and feelings but we use substances to bury those things.
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We all think we are unique but we are not.
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And another thing. If I feel disconnected I will eventually become aware of how connected we all are in spite of and because of how I do and don’t include myself truly.
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I kept thinking my story, my circumstances, my experiences made me “different,” therefore AA wasn’t for me, etc. Nope! Eventually I realized there is nothing unique about me. I had to get out of my own way and crush my ego. If you are truly an alcoholic of the hopeless variety, it isn’t the act of drinking. It’s our “thinking.” The disease of alcoholism is an alcoholics “thinking,” not the “drinking.” There are plenty of ways to get sober. Hey, whatever works. BUT for this alcoholic, AA is the only solution for my long term sobriety. Do you really just want to stay “dry?” I just assume be miserable and drink.
Totally I look at my alcoholism in a very humorous way 
I’ve gone through it all seizures, hallucinations, vomiting all day, nobody wanting to help me anymore so be ostracized and I just have to laugh at my insanity and thankfully it makes my ailment a little more easy to deal with. HUMOR WINS
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I was a very high functioning alcoholic who would periodically binge by myself when I felt lonely or depressed. Those periodic binges slowly got more frequent and I realized I was an alcoholic. It did take some time for me to find the similarities but I found the more I opened up in meetings abd really listened to others, the more I was able to find areas I could relate to in other people's stories. For me, all women's groups tend to be the most relatable. I think it can just take time and exploration to find where you relate. I attended a number of meetings that didn't feel like the right fit for me before finding some that did.
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Of course ! One big thing that helps is AA meetings. They have virtual ones as well if you prefer that . But it helps to have community
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