Today should be a happy day! I was invited to BBQ at my oldest sons. I very politely declined because one of my brothers is going to be there. We have alot of unresolved past that is what it is and I'm only 3 days sober this rodeo. I've tried to figure out why I do so good then mess up and drink and I know the unresolved tension is more than I can handle today and stay sober ...so now everyone is mad at me when in my mind I'm doing everything I have to today to stay sober. Even if it means staying home alone with everyone mad at me. So often I feel like I can't do anything right and when I do what's best for me/staying sober for a change it makes everyone angry at me...they don't understand how hard I'm fighting and how unstable I am today
You do what you have to do Q and don’t worry about anyone else 
no one but yourself knows what you’re really going thru.
Id like to be past resentments! I have alot of work to do on myself! It's just difficult when self-care is mistaken for self-centered. I can't be good for anyone or anything unless I'm sober. I don't know how to help my family understand that...I have triggers...I know me and I'm not on solid enough ground today atall to be around triggers
If you worry about what people think about you, then you become their prisoner.
Do what you need to do to stay sober.
When your family sees the results of your recovery they’ll eventually understand…. Until then don’t let them live in your head rent free
Your priorities in recovery:
- Your Sobriety & HP
- Everything else even family
That's all
You did the right thing. They will realize that in time. Stay strong.
In proud of you for that very difficult choice. You did such a good job of protecting your recovery. I'm sending you a great big virtual hug 🫂.
Families are one of the most difficult hurdles we each face in our recovery. For some it's our families of origin, for others it's the families that we've built. And it's different for each of us at different times.
The point is, almost every single one of us faces issues affecting our recovery that have to do with our families.
You are not alone. You're not even the only person who avoided a family gathering thereby p***ing off their family in order to protect their recovery, TODAY. Talk in meetings. Talk to a sponsor. Know that you're not alone. Hear other's share about how they've survived the same things and breathe. You did great.
I do understand, and live here today
I like this saying Luis. Everything said, honestly.
Q, Part of coming to terms in life is in realizing we can't be everything to everyone and that selfishness and self care look alike from a short distance. Q, they will eventually see the results of your sobriety. This is all that matters. Fretting about the details, IMO, only further separates and confuses us from the end goal anyway. Keep your eyes fixed on the prize. This is how we get it and keep it, I think...
Yep, all true.
It's so hard for people who haven't lived this to get it. You do what you need to to take care of yourself. People who really love you have the ability to learn to understand that. If they choose not to, it's hard, but you know you did what was right for you.