Does or has anyone else fear the 12 steps. Like how could that help? Wont doing some of these things make it worse? Or who wants to write down all the bad about themselves. Havent enough people told me the bad about me yet? Dont i beat myself up enough?
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I know exactly what you mean, I know my faults and bad traits, I roll them over and over every day. How do you stop? I hope it gets better for you. I'm here if you need to talk or just vent.
Absolutely, it’s been a life-long process of trial and error for me. I had major issues with steps 2 and 3 to start with because of religious abuse. It’s taken a lot misery, reading, learning and therapy to work through that. The first time I attempted step 4 I got like 3 resentments on paper and started thinking, why would I want to dwell and reflect on everything that pisses me off about life or worse with other lists dwell on all the good reasons I have for hating myself. So, I spent another 12 years or so in active drinking and using. However, when I was finally able to get back to the rooms and squeeze out a 4th step and sit down for a 5th it made such an impact on me I realized the answers to those why’s was because I was carrying a lot of things I didn’t need to and reacting to life in ways that made me miserable
James,
It is easy to put the cart before the horse but it just don’t work right!
If you are alcoholic everything inside of you (history of being alcoholic and believing the belief system alcohol addiction has taught us is screaming AA doesn’t work… breath in and breath out and stay relaxed take it easy. You have made it to the solution to the problem!
It is one step at a time and as time goes on we quit analyzing and begin utilizing the program (meetings reading the Big Book etc. we gain clarity the the horse comes first!
One step at a time beginning with step one (they are in order for a reason)!
Hope this helps
Ron
I am a recovering heroine and meth addict. I am reading the big book and go to AA or NA most days. Just don’t want to bring up my past to anyone including myself. I just want to move forward but I have been told this is what I should do first