Does your spouse still drink? Wondering how others handle that

Recovery
#1

Does your spouse still drink? Wondering how others handle that.

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#2

Mine did for all 4 years of my recovery. I begged and pleaded, then gave up and relapsed on heroin & fentanyl. Didn’t touch a drop of alcohol during my relapse. But with 20 days clean I can look back and see the path of building resentment against him, and ultimately not being able to handle his drinking no matter how hard I tried. We never worked through the issues, and he left me a week ago. And he’s sober! I’m Sharing all of this because I wish I would have worked harder on not letting his addictions affect me the way they did. He had to reach sobriety in his own way. There was nothing I could do to stop his drinking, he had to want it…

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#3

Jami is spot on. We can’t force sobriety on anyone just like our family and friends can’t force it upon ourselves. It has to come from within. Having a spouse who isn’t supportive or respectful of our choices is difficult. If they can’t respect your choice, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself and with them. What does the path forward look like?

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#4

I could give up opiates on my own, but it took an ultimatum from my husband to give up drinking. He still drinks, of course. He’s finally become more understanding of why it bothers me though and we are both in a much better space.

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#5

Yes. But if I told him I needed him to he would stop , however, he drinks very moderately and it dosent bother me.

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#6

Both my ex husband and I were daily high functioning alcoholics, UNTIL I wasn’t any more. I went to rehab 3 times and each time I went back into our home, I relapsed 3-4 months into my sobriety. I begged him to stop and he couldn’t/wouldn’t. For me, I had to leave the relationship to get any length of sobriety. He didn’t force the drink on me. I just could not stop drinking for any length of time being in that relationship/environment. He was my biggest enabler. Unfortunately, our marriage ended and it was very scary leaving the comfort of that relationship, but I was slowly killing myself. I had to make real changes in my life. I am coming up on 10 months sober and I have so much more clarity, joy, and freedom in my life.

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