People follow Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous or broadly speaking, Recovery, with the same fervour with which they follow a religion. They begin to treat its philosophy almost like a religious doctrine. The problem, however, is that instead of developing the capacity to tolerate the presence of substances and building the strength to say “no” to them, they become trapped in the cycle of avoidance.
Eventually, they start avoiding anything and everything in life where substances might be present—whether it’s a concert, a bar that happens to serve good food, or a place they might want to travel to. Recovery becomes an exercise in self-flagellation, and they begin to mistake self-torture for progress.
But depriving yourself of life does not prove how far you have come in recovery. Nor does judging people whose recovery looks different from yours—people who continue to enjoy life without cutting themselves off from everything—prove that you are further along.
All it proves is how effectively you have developed an avoidant personality.
Face it: substance use is an industry, and it exists everywhere. How many places can you possibly run away from?
At some point, the purpose gets defeated. Religion failed to provide a religious experience, and recovery, when approached this way, fails to provide peace of mind.
Perhaps recovery was never meant to be about running away from life. Perhaps it was meant to teach you how to live it.