10 days since my relapse. May sound crazy but it is turning out to be a good thing. I reached out to someome I really admired because of the good things in his life that I wanted and I knew he was as sick as me. He agreed to sponsor me and put me to work! Things are far from perfect but he has helped me unblock my access to my higher power. Untreated alcoholism, not drinking or using after detox, 28 days of rehab, 4 months in a halfway house, getting stuck on step 3 and 10 months of abstinence was eating my lunch!
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Did you relapse or lapse? There is a difference.
What's the difference
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A lapse is a brief time of usage, say going to a friend's house and trying a few beers again after a long sober period, regretting it immediately and stopping the next day. Relapse is long sobriety, with a continuous use of drugs or alcohol for a longer period, say a few weeks. Relapse usually involves a negative impact on the person. Such as legal problems, missing work, hospital stays, etc. Then realizing what you have done and restarting your sobriety counter again. The key difference is duration and commitment.
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It's interesting if your driving for a long time you tend to get lax, then something jumps out you swerve and miss, now your awake and paying attention. It's the same thing here, now that your awake and looking find out what held you back and finish the step work! Outstanding job coming back
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This is powerful self-awareness. Untreated alcoholism is painful, I was in 'dry drunk mode' for 7 years. I did no inner-work and relapsed after 7 years thinking I was okay. Getting a sponsor and working the steps is A1. So glad you turned that relapse into a lesson rather than a defeat.
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Straight up one beer, then……oblivion for a week. Never missed a beat. Allergy kicked in and the obsession took over.
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Thank you Anthony! I’m back working hard for a new experience. I feel your warmth and understanding!
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Hi Steve,
I relapsed twice before I really gave up and did the work. I was a 1-2-3 stepper too. I had 86 days, out for 1 day back for 62 and out for awhile. As soon as I came back, started the Steps over and worked the 4th Step like my life depended on it ... Because it did. I did drunk 4th/5th Steps all the time while still out there. You can do it but you gotta own it. I did alot of grime to others and self but can laugh where shame used to surface. Success and growth don't happen when we do recovery buffet style:pray:t4:
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Did the work eh? Sounds like Big Book Awakening verbiage! am starting the 26 week study with a guy in Cali. I live in NC and all in! Thank you!
Congratulations and good luck. Definitely a Big Book Awakening for me and grateful for my 5 years sober.