Dont really have anyone to talk to about this right now or maybe i just dont want to?? But i feel alot of self hatred at times and i feel like its not a safe place to be ...
I’ve been there many times! I hope it gets better! If you ever need anyone to talk to….I’m here! 
Reach out to talk as needed
Babe let me tell you, what you’re feeling we have ALL felt time and time again. It is a LIE that your mind tells you from a place of fear and disappointment. It’s OKAY to be disappointed in yourself, but do not let that passing thought take hold of your mind and self image. What you hate is the addiction but you are much MUCH more than that. When you feel hatred, match 1 thing you hate about the ADDICTION to one thing you love about YOU. rewire your brain to associate different feelings and words. It sounds impossible, but you’ve already acknowledged your pain and want for better/more. You’re already further along than you give yourself credit for my love. Reach out if you wanna talk or just want someone to listen. You’re not alone :))
You are not alone. I’m there with you. Reach out please.