Tomorrow I start detox, once again. I’m going to trusted friends, who do not use, to start this all over, again. This time I’m not trying to do it on my own. I’ve chosen to separate from my husband, who is also an addict, because we failed too many time’s trying to fight this battle together. That is HARD! I don’t want to leave him in this situation but I will never make it to recovery if I stay in this environment. I have to remove myself or I’m going to be dead within 6 mos. I’m hopeful I’ll be successful this time by changing my environment, confiding in these dear friends (married couple in their late 60’s, they’ve experienced life) and surrendering this body and mind that I’ve destroyed to God.
I’m very concerned about my health but I don’t know if it’s just all the guilt I’m feeling or if there is an actual medical reason I should be worried about and seek help.
I’m very malnourished. I weigh 100 lbs (avg is 125-130), I have a large hole in my septum and I can’t even fathom what else in my head and body are damaged to that point.
I know medical advice can’t be given and I’m not seeking that here. But anyone who has suggestions and/or advice, I welcome it.
There is no medically assisted detox treatment for cocaine. So I don’t know that, for at least the next two weeks, I need anything other than support to not use and a comfortable bed to sleep it off!