I’m a year and two months sober.. due to have a baby any day now and still been working myself into the ground at my job to be able to put some money away for when I have the baby… my spouse and I work together and our bosses have been screwing us over on hours… he has voiced his concerns with them multiple times and it never changed anything.. today he was fired… I wasn’t, as far as I know…
I was in the middle of my shift at work when I received a group text stating my husband was no longer with the company and no longer allowed on the property… it went to everyone and I knew I would have to face them all when I was back at the main office and i started to panic..
My anxiety is telling me they are waiting for me to have the baby and then fire me… or they are hoping I just up and leave too…. I’m so anxious to go back and be around them so much so, I want to just not show back up…. We need the money because on top of having a baby, we now can’t pay our rent, electric or any other bills we have coming up on the first of the month.. and I have NO idea what to do.. I’m so scared to lose our home right before/ at the same time I have the baby…
I’ve wanted to drink because of stress before but nothing like I do today…. The only thing that is keeping me sober is the fact that I’m pregnant… but I’m worried if I’m even strong enough to stop myself after the baby is born…
Had a coworker drop me off at a gas station to get picked up after my shift since my husband couldn’t pick me up directly at my work.. and it happened to be the liquor store/gas station combo… if I weren’t pregnant I’m not sure anything could have stopped me from going in and getting a bottle. Im trying to take it one day at a time. If being pregnant is the only thing that stops me from alcohol right now, then I will take it and be grateful… and after the baby, I will cross that bridge when i get to it…