Hey everyone I am here because I have a lot on my mind as I approach my 1 year being clean and sober, I am still struggling with dealing with my emotions. I been dealing with a man I been with for over 8 years, this relationship I feel like it’s not going anywhere and very toxic because this man talks to me like I am stupid and make me feel so unworthy. I know he is cheating on me and I don’t how much I take. Every time try to leave him alone he always find a way to make me feel guilty. Last year around this time I was drinking and was drunk a lot of what I been though came out and we got into an argument where he said some very hurtful stuff so one when he left I went though his instagram and saw a message between him and his sister where he called me a drunk and retarded even though he was the reason I relapsed in the first place. You see back in 2020 I try getting clean before I went into rehab and came home so determine to stay clean and as I approach 10 months of being clean I rented a hotel for me and him just to spend some alone time and when I was in the shower getting freshening up unknown to me this man put alcohol in my coffee that I left by the bed. After that day I start back drinking and starting getting bad when I lost my brother last year August 14 2021 and then I had him move in with me, he introduced me to E-pills I knew I had a problem when me and my sister started throwing his stuff out and we did on live video on Facebook which was very embarrassing considering that’s not me and I was very much so under the influence. That’s when I knew I had a problem. So on December 16, 2021 I knew I just had to stop drinking. But I am still dealing with this man and just can’t seem to let him going I don’t know why I still feel guilty even after made amends but still can’t help to still feel guilty I don’t know if it’s because he constantly reminding me how I put him out and threw out his belongings I don’t know but I know I can’t deal with him anymore I feel in my heart he doesn’t really love me he never did. What should I do
I’m sorry you had to go through all of that Irene! I definitely think you are making the right decision and doing the right thing! You need to put yourself and your sobriety first. One way or another you need to get away from this man and start living your life. Letting go can be very difficult. I know. But it will be totally worth it!
I think you know what you should do. Fear is holding you back. Fear of being alone. Fear of the unknown. Do you have a support system to lean on? Do you have a program of recovery to help you thru all of this? If yes, now is the time to double down and use your resources. If not, I recommend you find your sober people, and start participating in a recovery program. 1 year is fantastic!! You deserve better
No I don’t I am doing this all alone but thank you for your support I need that so muc
Get.
The.
Fück.
Away.
From.
Him.