Emotionally & Mentally Cycling

Recovery
#1

I'm really in my own head these days, much more since me and my partner parted ways. Parted ways is putting it lightly. More like he left me high and dry out of nowhere over a 5 minute or less phone call and then acted like I never existed without even a conversation face to face for 6 weeks before I realized I was not healing at all from the relationship and I needed one. Then after the conversation, he made it seem like it was only a first parter, then acted like he never said it and I never existed again, so frankly, now I'm not okay again.

It's been extremely difficult to make and to keep friends since I've moved to Arizona about 5 years ago. People keep disappearing from my life or becoming distant out of nowhere, it's been challenging for me to feel safe getting close, vulnerable and intimate with other people.

But I still try. And I even do. Then, they are gone and I'm hurt and wondering how I can avoid this in the future. But nothing I do changes it. I've tried so many things, sobriety was a factor but not the main reason I got sober.

The loneliness is surreal. I don't discount the people in my life now. They matter. But I worry that eventually they will be gone too.

2 Likes
#2

I’m sorry you are going through all this. Hang in there and it will be different.
Are you going to meetings? Working a program? This loneliness this will pass in time if we work on it.

2 Likes
#3

Yes I am but people I've met in AA including my sponsor of more than a year, have done similar to me already. In fact my sponsor accused me of having a bad attitude when we had only about 3 pages left of my 4 step (which was about 9 or 10 pages long) and entire year of going through. Then she sent me a text and I haven't heard from her since.

#4

X sorry you’re going thru some lonely times. I certainly did too. Divorced at 6 months sober and most friends & family distances from me.
I went to morning & evenings meetings everyday 7/365. Life got easier, I made new friends and started really enjoying my solitude. I stayed out of romantic relationships for awhile (approx 1+ year). Also I worked w multiple sponsors. Even a woman sponsor. No rules here, just suggestions.
Hang in there! You’re awesome and this will pass.

#5

Sponsors, the good ones are not there to pat us on the behind all tell us we’re doing great. They are there to guide us through the steps and let us know uncomfortable truths. These are things we usually don’t want to hear. But we need to hear them.
The Big Book talks about how “none of us liked” the steps at first. Especially the 4th. But keep going it will get better
I would ask, did you reach out to her and ask why you haven’t heard from her?
Have you continued to go to meetings to work through the rest of the steps? Or to find another sponsor?