I’m struggling with ending a 7 year extremely toxic relationship!! I know that it being over is the best for both of us!! But it doesn’t stop the pain… and the uncomfortability of change!! 
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Thank you for that!! That’s the positive support that I need!! Thank you!! 
Ending of relationships has previously been such a huge trigger of mine. It still is a huge trigger for me. It’s probably my number 1 trigger. I know it’s painful but nothing stops the pain. Sitting through those feelings and not numbing makes it better. Finding some meetings and sharing what you’re going through will help too. I find the women’s meetings more helpful during times when I’m having relationship issues. You might even help someone who’s going through something similar. I know I really appreciate when someone shares things like this in meetings… It also makes me feel like I not the only person dealing with that❤️
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First and foremost, I’m sorry that it hurts. As you have already figured out, learning to process these feelings is where sobriety begins. Sharing this, and getting support is a great start. Moving forward I want to share a little hope. In addiction I chose to remain stuck. I was scared to change. Sobriety has taught me how to let go of things (people, places, things, old attitudes, old beliefs, and old behaviors) that no longer serve me. This is a process, but if you decide to make these changes on a daily basis, they will transpire. The world works in mysterious ways. There were some things I wasn’t ready to let go of ( even though I knew I needed to), but the universe decided to remove things from me. It was painful at first, but I found that by eliminating these things, space opened up for me to replace them with more positive things. Think…out with the bad and in with the good.
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Well sometimes the toxicity is what can or will always keep us toxic. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time before your in your next relationship. You need to heal. Trust me being single is a whole lot better then being with someone that will keep me in a horrible place and doesn't help me grow as a person. Loneliness is a killer to some and how many seem to be in relationships.
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Left 7 year relationship married to another alcoholic only a few months ago...loved him deeply and still do love him in a way. We were not good for each other. I would have probably never sobered up if we were still together...so for me in similar situation all the pain n heart break did make me a better person...I know it sux going through it at the time! You will most likely come out way better for it on the otherside...hang in there 
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Going thru divorce now. I totally can relate. It hurts and is hard to deal with the emotional roller coaster. Deep down I know is best for me to let her go. To keep with my sobriety and work on myself.
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It seems so difficult and tragic in the moment, but there is another side — one where you can find and be your true self. I know that may seem far off, but it DOES get better.
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My ex broke up our 5 year relationship last October. Although I was distraught, and couldn't imagine myself writing something like this, it was for the best. I'm still sad about it, but the breakup was the catalyst to my recovery. I want a great relationship, but I need one with myself first.
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Wow!! Very powerful!! And thank you for you experience strength and hope!! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this is what’s best for my life! Just feeling a little growing pain… if you will!! Thank you you truly helped me!!
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I hear ya! I’m going thru the same thing at the moment. Relationship hasn’t been good for the last 3 years or so. I’m not sure it was ever great except for the emotional foggy days of the beginning. For me, I have to work on myself. Although I was sober in the sense that I didn’t drink, before, during and after this current relationship I stopped doing the work when the relationship was new and in a good place. When I stopped doing the work, I lost what I had gained in sobriety. Now that I can honestly say that relationship has run it’s course, I am getting back to meetings and most importantly getting back to working on ME. I went to two meetings today and heard what I needed to hear! For that I am grateful
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It’s very hard coming to terms with the fact the one you planned your life with, is just not the one… 7 years of believing the opposite!! But that’s me running the show!! How has done for me what I could not do for myself!! 
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Meetings are huge for me!! They are my family, my support… they understand me better than me!! And finally after 8 1/2 months… I’m starting to love me!! 
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I believe it is what’s best if that’s what’s happening nothing in God’s world happens by mistake! I know he’s doing for me when I couldn’t do for myself possibly the same case for you. I pray for you you’re in my thoughts I know what the pain feels like.
Hey beloved, I hear you and trust me I’ve been in your situation. In my experience the emotions and pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. The best take away you can get from this is your now free to surround yourself with people who love you and start making connections that are healthy. (And I say free because sometimes we as addicts fall powerless to unhealthy toxic relationships too.) I know I have and trust me sometimes it still hurts but I know i made the right decision by putting my well-being first. I’m so proud of you for taking the next right action. You have countless of tools by your side to use and community that will always love you when your in hard times. Just know This too shall pass.
🫶🏽
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The pain and loneliness an uncomfortableness will pass. I’ve been there. Just hold on!
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Thank you for that experience strength and hope!! This is why I reach out support is amazing!! Ty
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It is so yucky uncomfortable!! Yet I know that I need to feel this!! I have been numb for so long!! Thank you for your support!!
I used to hate breakups. There are no implications here, but I was a young, immature man. I leaned heavily on my partners, oblivious to how I was taking all I could without giving back. That's not love. That in itself is toxic and that's what I attracted into my life.
I didn't realize until I was in my 40s that I was actually codependent. I never lived for any significant time by myself, being solely responsible for everything in my life.
My sponsor back then brought these things into light and encouraged me to stay out of relationships until I could learn about me, create some stability in my life and build a relationship with my higher power who I call God. This, in turn, gave me the ability to see things more clearly and make wiser choices, including the kind of people that I allow in my life.
That was back in 2003. Best advice I was ever given.
I don't know you personally, but regardless, this is a great opportunity to learn about you; to start a new chapter in your life. Maybe try something different in your life; Martial arts, learn to fly airplanes, go back to school, earn your CDL etc. If you're single and have no kids yet, the opportunities are endless.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you.
That's god's plan and everyone that God puts in our life we grow from and learn
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