Ever since ive been 7 months sober, i feel like my life has become alot harder to handle. I suffer from depression really bad. Its came to the point where my suicidal thoughts run wild. For years, I used to tell myself i would never hurt myself because i would hurt alot of people that care about me. Right in this moment as im typing this, i really dont care who i would hurt anymore. Im checked out. Today was the first time I actually wanted to grab a drink and say F it. I couldnt do it tho. I love saying im sober but at the same time i really dont wanna be here anymore. I feel like im just rambling at this point. Hope your doing good out there in this scary world we live in.
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Hey… I felt this more than you know. I’m a little over 6 months sober and I’ve been struggling hard lately too.
It’s like everything we numbed for so long comes rushing back all at once.
But the fact that you didn’t pick up today? That matters. That’s strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
You’re not alone in feeling like this, even though it feels isolating as heck. Please don’t give up on yourself. You’ve made it this far for a reason.
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear. But what your feeling is normal and it's a part of it. I spent a few years just getting through the day. Making it to my pillow and literally feeling like I didn't deserve a chance at life because I didn't even want to be here. Today. 7 years later, when I am down and out it's nothing like it has been. If I had given up I wouldn't be here to write this message, because I wouldn't know that it gets better. I do understand though how that feels. And how real it can feel. Depression is serious. It's not something anyone can prepare you for. Please hang in. Here if u need someone to talk to.