Every single time over the last three years I’ve gotten sober for about six months then relapse for three. Rinse, repeat. While sober I realize just how depressed I am. How every time my phone rings I have a wave of anxiety flood over me. I think it’s time to really reconsider my career choice because I feel it’s a huge part of the depression. Knowing I’m not at all doing what I want to with my life is literally killing me. I can’t keep doing what’s “safe” but to do what makes me happy.
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Try get to any meetings celebrate recovery .look on line for meetings aa. Org.or any meetings.
If you don’t mind me asking.. what do you do? And what would you like to do?
It takes time , sober time, for your mind and body to heal. It is normal to have anxiety. Sobriety will force you to face reality. This anxiety will pass but when you pick up after six months you go right back to the beginning to start again. It took me two years of sobriety to wake up without as much anxiety and fear. We take this program and sobriety one day at a time, even one hour at a time, to get better. When you reach six months go to more meetings. Do not pick up and go to a meeting. There is a very good chance your life will get better one day at a time. If you pick up it will only get worse. This is pretty certain.