Experience,strength,and hope pls

Okay y'all I'm going to try to keep this short. Going on 4 years of recovery but have really battled this for about 26 years. Starting to spend time with my adult children. I have never had a come to Jesus honest conversation with either of my children. My son has always avoided it. It just came to my understanding that he is believing a lot of lies that his father has told him that has made a tremendous impact on our relationship. The magnitude of what he believes is incredibly damaging. I run a very honest program and if I had said that something had happened that caused this I would take ownership. A friend of mine that knows everybody involved told me a long time ago that from 8 years old and up my son has been told lies I didn't want to believe it and now it seems it may be true. I don't want him to have to face things like this but I can't bear to have him believing just catastrophic lies about me. I just don't know what to do.

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