Hey Ranita thanks for letting us know what's up as a friend in recovery we all have to be at the point where we are powerless over all drugs and we can't do this anymore alone so look preventing this your beautiful self it's half way through the bad spills of it so keep in mind reach out to others see if there words or talks help hit me up anytime if you are dealing with the feelings of relapse don't put all this pressure stay positive on everything so not so stressed and work out with friends.
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It Isn't about how we fall but rather how we get back up girl! I'm here for you!
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Did anybody force you to drink?
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Hi Ranita, hang in there! I was sober for 18 months and relapsed. I stopped for 3 months and slipped again, I am now working on 6 days of sobriety. It can be challenging but as long as you keep pushing forward you will eventually get to where you need to be. 
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Okay you relapsed it’s not the end of the world keep trying it’s not just about not using you have to deal with what makes you want to use feel numb depression anxiety broken heart I relapsed before because I thought I was missing something I was lonely and depressed what I forgot was the pain and misery we need help we can’t do it alone getting on your knees asking God/Jesus Christ for help and support it’s a life long battle
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Ranita,
Do you know why you relapsed? It's called, believing the lie; that this time, everything will be OK. But it never is, is it?
We have to learn the play the scene all the way forward. You may feel relieved for a while but it is short-lived. Then you have to carry around more guilt like you're doing now.
What were you doing while not drinking? Did you use the phone to talk with anyone with long term sobriety?
What step are you on?
Do you have a sponsor?
I've also never heard anyone who relapsed come back and say that things actually got better.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I appreciate you taking time out of your day for this. 
I think just stress in general and finding out my kids father is having another child with another woman when he isn’t helping with the two children he had with me. So yeah the ultimatum of knowing I’m on my own with them hit hard a few days ago. But yeah I know they need me. I’m going to do the best I can and that’s all I can tell you. God bless
Sometimes it happens . The most important thing Is you picked yourself back up
Ok
I get your stress. Single parenthood is the hardest job in the world. Take a deep breadth and think.
You just learned that drinking is a wasteful lie, right? What you need are real solutions. Your ex can't be hard to find.
File for child support and keep the pressure on.
Your ex sounds like he's making mistakes of his own too. I get all of this. You see, I too was once like him and I can tell you that it all catches up to us all. One day I was desperately ready for sobriety. 12/10/02
Got sober and spent years cleaning up the wreckage of my past. My child support was paid in full a long time ago.
My life got to be the way it did because of decisions that I made that were based on self. I never stopped to think about how my actions would affect other people. It was always about me, me, me. And that's how it usually is with most alcoholics to one degree or another.
One of the things we are taught in AA is to search for our part in it all. As far as any of us ever get is how others had wronged us. We make poor choices when alcohol is in the equation including the people we choose. When you get sober for at least a year you will be seeing through a different sett of lenses.
Good news is that you are still young and can get pointed in the right direction. When I got my head on straight, my kids for the most part were already grown up. As a result, even though I've made amends to them, they consequently have not been in a big hurry to have any kind of a relationship with their father.
I also highly recommend that you stay out of relationships for now. I know it's difficult to do this when you're young because the hormones are going crazy but I can testify of the insanity that this invites in our lives. For women, they love the idea of another paycheck to survive but this only leads to more disappointment because it's the wrong reason for a relationship.
I was not quite divorced at one time in my life and I already was shacking up with a woman that I met in AA. Talk about the epitome of stupid. She had two kids and I had two kids and together we created another child. They were six of the most miserable years of my life.
People in the program were trying to warn us but like people today, we weren't listening either. We thought a relationship was a solution to our problem when all it did was added fuel to the fire.
When I finally became teachable and started doing things the way they suggested an alcoholics Anonymous my life slowly started to get better one day at a time