Went almost 7 days my record is 8 was hoping to go past that. Had my mother in law here at my house for 5 days. We dont like each other. She spent 90 minutes this morning yelling at a cvs employee on speakerphone trying to get her prescription sent here even though she was leaving in 2 hours back to NY. Made the manager get on the phone to chastise the employee that only stated the obvious.... get it at home...
I celebrated her departure
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Don’t beat yourself up man. My record is about 7 months. I recently relapsed hard and hit it harder than I did before. It was bad. At first I beat myself up real bad. The shame and guilt were tough. Then I realized that acting that way only made it worse and made me want to drink those feelings away. Not worth it.
You are in good company as we’ve all had set backs but like anything else, practice makes perfect. Keep pressing on.
Thanks Mike and TC
I am so close to being done with it. One trigger sets me off
Do you go to meetings?
Heres the funny thing....i manage a hotel full if people from NY. NJ and CT. Watch the show White Orchid on HBO i love the manager.....,my life. Hate them all. Pretend we love them. I need out so bad but the pay is good
No meetings
Not opposed but despite being in hospitality i dont connect with most people
Introvert
Why do you think you failed? Do you still have a desire to get sober? Are you still communicating with people who are sober?
Sounds to me like you are still trying. That's not failure.
It's called learning.
What you may need is some Good Orderly Direction (G. O. D.).
I would suggest going to a meeting. I know you said you are an introvert and don't easily connect with people. There is no rule that says that you have to talk to anyone at a meeting. In fact, it might be really useful for you to sit and listen to what others have to say. You might be surprised what you hear.
From one introvert to another.
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John, I recommend you at least listen in on some online meetings. I did that I first and then started participating. I started in a chat meeting.
Fail
First
Attempt
In
Learning
That’s your first mistake. If not a meeting a recovery friend. Sorry being honest. Everyone will use any reason to pick up again (I know I was there) but thank god for friends in recovery I don’t anymore. While she screamed on the phone maybe you should have stepped away from the situation. Just being totally honest because if you really want sobriety you will do whatever it takes. I have been in situations with my own husband that I should have drank but I walked away and reached out to as many as I had nit to pick up that drink. So far so good.
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I’m introverted myself. My advice is go to a meeting and listen. At some point you’re going to hear something from someone that you really like. Take the time out to introduce yourself they will be more than happy to help you. It has worked for me for over 7 1/2 years at this point.
Very good that you reached out here and are honest, that’s a big step. Personally I can’t stay sober without meetings, especially Lead meetings. Just make MAKE yourself go and listen. AA is the best group of people you can come into contact with right now, no judgement, no politics, just people trying to help each other stay sober.
It’s ok! My life has been a struggling roller co
aster I did have over 2 years but lost it again trying to get better 
You’re not failing. If recovery were a graph (just an example) it would not be a perfectly straight line going up. Relapses are just a part of recovery sometimes. We have to do what we can to avoid them, but they aren’t something to kick yourself over (that makes it worse, leads to more relapses). All you can do about it now is ART; Acknowledge it, Refresh, and keep Trying. As long as you move forward past your relapse, that’s great progress.
Communication is so important too. I’m glad you’re here on this app and trying. And oh my god I’m sorry about your mother in law, she sounds like a monster.
I appreciate all the responses. It is good to know there are thoughtful people out there going through the same things. I am new to this forum as of last week so dont feel qualified to offer any advice.... perhaps one day when I am more successful in my efforts, but I do read all the posts and replies to them which contain a lot of good advice. Maybe meetings will be the catalyst needed to make it work for me.
Thanks, and Cheers!! (not literal drinking cheers)
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You didn’t fail. You had seven days sober and they didn’t disappoint just because you relapsed. You are learning about yourself. Keep your head up and do the next right thing!! For me I know that there is absolutely nothing in life that a drink will make better. Nothing. You got this!!!
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Thanks Terrie
She sure tests my limits...will rise above the behavior some day. Already lost all respect for her so need to focus on myself and not get affected. Anyway, gonna keep trying.... even 6-8 days sober with 1 day setback then 6-8 more sober is a vast improvement over every night for the last 10 years. I will take it for now but want the 1 day gone.
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