Went to the casino with my girlfriend last night just to walk around, do a little shopping, and get dinner. I decided it was a good idea to “test myself,” and thought I could have one drink. One drink turned into a blackout after dinner. I’m so ashamed of myself.
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I'm sorry that this happened, but this can be a great learning opportunity if you let it. You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber.
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
-Page 30, Big Book of AA
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Don't ever give up, get back up on the horse & ride off into the sunset! YOU ARE WORTHY!! Have a blessed day doll♡
We’re dealing with alcohol, cunning baffling and powerful. It’s a very difficult thing to power through. Sounds like you noticed you needed to set stronger boundaries for yourself.
Feeling ashamed is okay sometimes because it gives us strength to not want to feel like that again. Pick yourself self up and continue to learn and grow from that experience